Mom

Chapter 4

I don't remember mom very well. I do miss her a lot. I think what I miss most is being able to miss the memories. 

Ethan has mixed feelings about mom. When he works himself up enough he calls her 'Evelyn' and that makes my chest hurt. 

He likes to think that mom left for a good reason. Maybe she did. He says that some people have good ideas but bad execution and that's how mom was. 

Her idea was to leave. Her execution was to leave without us. 

I think that my feelings towards her are more about Ethan than her. He gets angry at her and I get sad that he's angry. He misses her and I get worried that he's hurting. Sometimes I think about if he feels the same way when I'm upset and it makes me feel a bit guilty, because I know he worries enough already. 

One thing I appreciate about mom is the movie nights. It's the thing I remember most but vaguely. Once a week, we'd have a movie night and although I don't remember it, I'd imagine her calling, "Ethan! Tate! Movie time! Who wants popcorn?" Framed like all those cheesy family movies that I tend to hate.

I think that's Ethan's favorite thing as well because he still does it when he doesn't feel too busy to just sleep all day after work. Ethan is good at his job. Both of his jobs actually. His first job is working 7 hours a day somewhere for 6 days a week and he is always tired afterwards. He doesn't talk about it much because to him it's 'the same thing every day and not worth talking about.'  

His second job is a lot better. It's taking care of me. From my perspective, I'd think it's pretty easy to do so. I don't eat or sleep because I'm not real and I like to watch movies and not go to school. So, basically Ethan doesn't need to do much but occasionally pretend to be mom. 

I think that out of every mom that I've ever had, Ethan is the best one.