Max

Chapter 3

Ethan likes to say that the reason he calls me Max is because that's what mom used to call me, although I don't remember that part. It's a cool name so I don't mind it, but only Ethan can call me that. 

When I get bored enough and when I think I think too much, I like to lay perfectly still on my bed with my head over the end of it. Slowly, the blood rushes to my head and the world starts to make just a little bit more sense. Things upside down make more sense. The only sad thing is that it's temporary. Eventually, I have to sit up because my eyes will get confused and my head will hurt just a little too much. 

I don't like sitting up because all the blood rushes back and makes me dizzy. I think that being dizzy is possibly the worst feeling in the world. 

Being dizzy is possibly even worse than that feeling you feel when the world gets a little bit smaller and suddenly there's less oxygen in the air so it's harder to breathe. Your chest tightens and it feels like you might be dying until your brother has to convince you to hold ice cubes until the world opens up again. Yeah, being dizzy is definitely worse than that.

I like the tone of Eli when Faith says it. It sounds forest green in my head, and green is my favorite color. I made green my eye color. They know when they look me in the eyes that the boy who doesn't exist likes green. Then they don't have any reason to ask me so many questions. 

Questions make me want to hold ice.