An Eye for an Eye, A Hand for a Hand

Thud, Thud, Thud. Footsteps. Up the stairs, closer, closer. Floorboards creaking, I jolt awake.
I am half-awake now, thinking I’ve just had another nightmare, but then: Thud, Thud, Creeeak. No. It can’t be him. It’s. Not. Possible. Then I remember, they never did find his body. But no, I assure myself, it is simply my imagination. Jiggle, Jiggle, THUMP. He was at the door!
I jump from the bed, grabbing shoes, an electric torch, and my 9 mm. Running, out the backdoor. Behind me, he is shouting, “Where are youuu? I know you're here!” Glass, breaking; tables, toppling. I keep running, running ‘till I can run no more.
Stumble. Fall. Sleep. Running, Running, Running... Suddenly, someone shouting “There you are!” Slowly, I peek from behind a bush, expecting that Lucifer-like man, but, it is only a worried mother with her disobedient son.
Later, I find a hotel, book a room, and get a new job. I am sweeping after hours at a grocer’s when I hear a window shatter. I turn, slooowly, THERE HE WAS.
I stammer “Y-you s-should be d-d-dead!”
Coolly, he mocks “Ah, but here I am!”
I try to escape out the front door, but trip over the broom in my haste.
‘Where are you going so fast?” he coos, “I have simply come to collect what is mine.”
“I owe you nothing! It was an accident! PLEASE!!!” I scream, tears streaming down my face.
“What is that saying, ‘An Eye for an Eye, a Hand for a hand’? Your life is forfeit.” the man glowers.
“Please, no, PLEASE!!!!!!” I weep.
BANG!
My muscles jerk, then relax, as everything fades to black.

© 2013 Bráthair Faolchu

Author's Note

This is my first ever short story, so please help me out with some constructively critical comments. Thank you!

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Reviews

Melody

I thought it was quickly eventful. I enjoyed it. The use of the bangs and pleading..It reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe and a Clint Eastwood western, haha. :) Good job on your first ever short story.