suicidal thoughts

I remember waking up the morning after
And I was getting dressed for school
I had closed my eyes for a few seconds because I was tired
I walked into school thinking it would be a better day instead I cried that whole day "I dint want to be here anymore"
When I knew it was coming it hit me in a flash
My ex told me that I should kill myself right in front of him
At that time all I wanted was to get his attention
My friends dragging me away from the street as I yelled and screamed for them to let me go "I want to die because I know I'll be alone away"
Friends stood by
When I said go away
And they even walked me home because they didn't trust me enough to be alone
So I cut and cut
Myself when I got home
Because to others it was for attention but maybe I wanted to die
No one ever listened to me
Or wanted to listen
I lost my ex and my best friend earlier that year and wondered would my life be any sweeter if I never see them again
"I still want to jump in front of a bus"
No I don't want to talk to anyone about it
No I don't want to hear anything about it
I'd rather smile and forget it ever happened