Daddy's gun

Daddy's gun

Its come to a close for me
So I grabbed my daddy's gun
Hoping for something better than this life I've come across
Disappointment
Revenage
Some how only on myself
I asked god to please forgive me
Of my sins
But this is a troubling time
I held the gun up to my
Shedding tears
As a result in my pain and agony
Depression
Fustration "1..2..3"
I took a deep pause at three
And looked in mirror asking myself "What's wrong with you? "
I'd rather be in a much better place then here
Misery loves company
And all I want is to be happy "4..5..6"
Loading the gun
I sat there just holding my daddy's gun
And crying with pains I've never felt before
Thinking to myself "What could I have done to get here and what can I do to make it better"
Daddy's gun
Was loaded with three bullets
Knowing damn well I only needed one "7..8..9"
One more number to go
I guess this was it
My life was over
I couldn't think about anything
Except my heart beat
Because that's all I heard when I got to 10
10 being that I knew it was that time
Then I realized something
Why didn't anyone ask me how I've been
No friends I guess
I grabbed a hold of my daddy's gun
Tightly and threw it across my bedroom
10 THOUGHTS IN MY MIND
I haven't seen my old friends in years
Haven't even had a conversation with either one
I'm guessing I don't matter
I don't want my parents to lose me
I want to get married one day
I want to be able to have kids one day
I can't talk to anyone about this "Why do you think I grabbed his gun in the first place?"