drift

Drift out to sea, drift far from me please!

Drift to another moment and I can be free.

No one told me love hurt this way.

The intention was to let go but I don't know how to.

I can't let go, so I fade away.

Reviews

[Savanna Robbins]

Just the first word caught my attention. I love how this poem is so simplistic but also meaningful

[Davidgeo]

Add a few words here and there.

It's kind of halting in some places but it's pretty good. I love writers who understand word economy.

In the second line, Instead of "and" use "so"... it read's smoother.

For the third line add "that" in between "me" and "love". For the same reason as above.

The fourth line would read better if you didn't contract "don't".

Same thing in the fifth line in regard to "can't".

You write like someone I know. Less Jewish though. I like your writing.

[The Iron Horseman]

Nice, brief but to the point. Very poignant - you describe a traumatic experience that most people go through at some point of their lives and you have captured its essence very well. Good work.

[AKhaus]

Your words are very much appreciated!

[The Iron Horseman]

You are very welcome. My pleasure.