The stillness of light

I feel the emptiness and it's deeper than a bottomless well.
I haven't a penny left to wish this away.
I can't stop with the missteps but wait for the stillness of light to allow me a path that will keep me from this constant regret and madness.
I move from one chaotic moment to the next, stupidly assuming the wounds will heal without closure.
It's perpetual, this urge to self destruct, to kill or be killed.
I hate to trust and yet I must.