eclipse

a pallid oracle with spires suspended in that sable atmosphere which drapes across our eyes.

necks turned and visions blurred, the mystic transcendental moment roused in our beings which astonish such mortal make.

a thousand years before, a million stars away, there remains nothing that can take me as the sun and moon as they lay.

when all chaos, all differences cease, this is when the two become one and lessons are learned from above.

no god, no man, no creature whose feet birthed on this sand can compare to the enigmatic essence and most pure poetry as the coupling of these worlds.

Reviews

[Poeticsecrets16]

The structure makes the poem formal and not poetic, but I love how you create a contrast with the sun and the moon, illuminating the message the poem across. and i love the hyperbole you placed with "a thousand years before, a million stars away," It creates a deeper meaning beneath the words. Good job!

[Brent]

I can tell you appreciate solar eclipses. Very topical subject!

I like how you emphasize that even polar opposites such as the sun and the moon can come together to create a beautiful experience. Also, you point out the cyclic nature of this reunification. Your poem emphasizes hope.