“the subject matters of me”

“the subject matters of me”

9.13.21

7.54pm

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I have not had the most pleasurable life,

At 13, molested by my own family (cousin),

At 14, my innocence taken away by some lowlife, set on a twisted path that would take 8 long years to come back from,

At 17, again taken advantage of by a friend of the family,

From age 18) [or 16, I can never remember it exactly] �" 22 (February 2021), my sex drive increased, I was casted out by the one true being whose judgment I alone worshipped: my own,

.

I buried myself,

Every night, as I was on the phone, trying to get a high,

I dug a deep hole and leapt inside with glee,

My sister was barely old enough to know what was going on, and I was doing it while she was in the frame,

It was so very bad- I started pushing people away, those of whom I loved very much, all to get a high from something I didn’t fully comprehend,

.

.

.

I hold that version of myself now and softly embrace her,

Tell her it wasn’t her fault,

Yes, she hurt so many loved ones, but what’s done is done,

We know better now,

We’ve “suffocated” so many men to death just by loving them,

No more, as we’ve a very talented suitor inside the walls of our heart,

.

We no longer live in the dark,

__

Khat