“What Else You Got?” - Khat

“What Else You Got?”

9.6.21

8.59pm

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What else do you have for me, Lucifer Morningstar, won’t you let me know?

Don’t take it personal when my growth starts to show�"

You don’t look so hot now…

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I have an addiction, it’s pretty f*****g bad,

I can’t have caffeine, or medication, or basically anything prescription,

I’ll overkill that s**t, I’ll overdose with that s**t,

I’ll abuse that s**t

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It’s been a problem, more than two years, and counting,

I wonder if it’s a problem,

Should I be medicated?

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HA! Funny, you caught em,

They trying to trick me,

Telling me I got a problem, so solve em,

I’ll solve em,

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I don’t know better , so I’ll show myself out,

Didn’t know you could die from the high,

Getting high is all I’ve ever wanted,

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Sometimes, I wish I didn’t come down,

Head up in the clouds, got no reason coz I’m sober,

I’m never sober anymore,

Got drugs up my sleeve, no nothing hardcore, maybe placebo and s**t,

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Ya can call me p***y,

At least it never killed me,

At least I still get ditzy out my own needs,

Do ya know how to do that?

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Ya need so many things,

Equipment getting heavy,

I got my blood, my sweat, and my tears,

I need nothing down here, I’m ok,

Getting visibly sleepy now,

Depression is the best heroin, don’t you agree?

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this poem is in reference to the poem below

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“The Devil Wore My Face”

7.19.21

1.39pm

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I saw her face as she looked up at me, “He must be in danger, please- do go back to him, at least to find out how he’s doing!”.

I recognized the devil’s true face�"I heard his voice, if only faintly… God gifted me the senses compatible to defeat such requests… it was haunting, and eerie, and specific… it made the air around me colder.

She looked so much like me, she even dressed like me… the old me.

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I knew it by her eyes�"they were colder than mine had ever been.

“Go to him! See if he’s ok! He might be dead! The thought of a former lover being dead… it kills you, doesn’t it?”.

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It pained me, yes- but it is no longer my concern…

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“He’s dead, and you’re the only one that knows, how tragic his funeral would be�"”.

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“His death is on your head; his blood, on your hands, do not try and hide your lingering affection…”.

I fell in love with him in 7^th grade, he, in 6^th�"in later months, when we broke up, I mechanically moved in the conviction that we were still together and that he was still in love with me.

7 years of tormenting myself�"killing myself over and over as I moved�"emotionally, with each of his relationships…

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That’s not affection, I do not feel anything at all when I think of him�"that ship sunk long before I graduated middle school; we were doomed thereafter.

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What else do you have for me, Lucifer Morningstar, won’t you let me know?

Don’t take it personal when my growth starts to show�"

You don’t look so hot now…