“Wretched Woman” - Khat

you need not know the contents of "wretched man" to understand this poem

“Wretched Woman”

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7.7.21

11.35am

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[I wrote this as a reaction piece to Hubby’s poem, “Wretched Man”]

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I’m sorry that I’ve not updated this poem,

Its only coz I’ve hit a brick wall, I don’t know what to say,

What can I say,

What would appease you?

How can I stop the bleeding, how may I serve you?

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I would like to erase the pain, I would like to massage your brain, so what if I’m new?

Hold my hand, we suffer through similar things every day,

But we don’t say anything, we suffer in silence,

Half the time, I don’t tell you what I go through, I’m scared,

Relapses are right around the corner,

I’m breathing in iron, the irony is that I keep vibrating into the walls,

Without the high, I’m not productive,

I keep snorting the Adderall, but it doesn’t do anything,

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I miss the crunch of their eyeballs as I lure the fishes in, they swarm around me like moths to a flame,

I was the savior, the king of this game,

But now my skin seems to want to settle down with the future,

And walk on gravel and marble and dirt,

My body wants to be folded into someone else’s,

‘’

I’m ready but my bones are restless,

The nights go by slow,

It’s all I know, that’s all I know,

I wait for the moon to tell me when,

So, I get on my knees and start to pray that my path is still there,

That I’m not doing this blindly, that I at least have some sort of guidance,

That my toes are in shoes and not in the sand,

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I worry you let the demons in,

And although I do the same, I cannot let them get under your skin,

It is now my job to refrain, to not let them into your brain,

To tell you you’re insane when they come in for the first wave,

They come like beetles in the rain,

Darkening demeanor and settling like nettles in wooden kettles overrun with termites,