“Panic!” Manic! Book 1- Ch. 1A Poem by FaeryQueentrue events: panic attack“Panic!”
Manic! Book 1- Ch. 1 . 7.22.21 Note:
I needed to get these words out, words can be parasitic . I’m
having a panic attack, and
the faces around me are saying that I’ll never go back, I try
to do everything I can to burn down the bridges, But I
guess my knowledge isn’t that expansive, so I keep breathing, In
and out- deeply, But
what does that do, What
the f**k does that do? I
left the bedroom door wide open coz I forgot to close it, . But I
guess that’s ok . . . They’re
gonna tell me to keep going to therapy, But I
can’t coz I need my privacy and I can’t put my earbuds in anymore coz I have an
ear blockage, I’m
trapped in the corner of my room and started thinking that I did this to
myself, I
don’t ask for help, I
don’t talk to anybody, I
don’t have the curtains open anymore, . . . - . . . I’m
literally shaking, my brain can’t move, I’m mortified, no- petrified, I
keep remembering the time I was sexually assaulted by my cousin in 2012" And
then again by a coworker in 2017… I
remember thinking it was my fault, like I had no choice coz my body was acting
against me" And I
couldn’t ask for help, my lips were stitched with reputation, . I’m
shaking, someone save me, but don’t touch me coz I can bite your head off,
would you like me to demonstrate on your face- I’m
ok I’m
ok I’m
ok I’m
ok I’m
ok I’m
ok . I’m
not ok . - . Things
that I haven’t spoken about in a while are now showing up with a smile, And
it’s just a matter of time before it implodes against these walls that I’ve
kept up, . . . I
can’t seem to relax, my body’s trembling, I don’t know how to react, my mind is
telling me, “Keep calm, keep calm, everything’s gonna be alright”, But I
can’t seem to stop singing this poem in an emo pop melody"hoping someone would
hear me… Can
someone hear me- Hear
me, please" . This
is a poem of my excretions- bodily fluids and mental liquids,
Come
and drink me down to size; I’d rather live, but I don’t know why- © 2021 FaeryQueen |
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Added on July 23, 2021 Last Updated on July 23, 2021 Author
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