Loyal

I use to pull strands of my hair
Out
To just feel
And before that I use to just close my eyes and
Wish
For someone to come and steal me into the night
Somewhere unknown
Somewhere desolate
Quiet
Somewhere
Some-when
-
But now
All I crave is him
All I need
Want
Love
... is him
And I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about him
And tho there are those that I speak to openly
I mustn’t be so open with them
For they may find an opening
And sneak their way inside without my noticing
And so
This is my leave of absence from that past
My declaration of decorum
My signature of love
.. I used to be this way
One day I might find a way to make you understand how I love
How I feel around you
... and to think
You picked me to stand by for eternity
Anything but isn’t love but lust