"to be whole again" khatoon hazara ||| 7:52pm sun. 3.31.19

tsed

"to be whole again" khatoon hazara ||| 7:52pm sun. 3.31.19

walking amongst my kin

I don't feel secure in my skin

Walking alone again

holding no hands whatsoever without a thought that you'd be here

walking on sand

crippling my skin

rubbing them till they bleed, huge chunks of granite and lead

I feel the pebbles on my sole

please, come home

to me...

have a cup of air

feel it fill your lungs

breathe it in and don't breathe it out

hold me in your arms

don't go without

I am scared to breathe

you're not here with me

I am, I am so alone

I found the rain, walking alone on a crowded sunny day

but it was nightfall- and the rain said, the sun was hurting her

So i subdued myself

told her not to worry

a friend is on the case

don't fail me now, she said,

never again

i pleaded with my eyes

for her to let me back inside

it was the nightfall of 1875

when I came into the life of a young man drinking alone outside of a bar

I

When I went up to his face, or generally in his area of vision, I told him I wasn't looking for any trouble

He didn't know what I was talking about, too high up on his woes

I told him to come down, sit next to me coz I was sober, and he needed a shoulder

to cry on

I didn't know how much we spoke but we spoke until the sun apologised for hurting the rain, but mama came too fast for me to remember his name

and so we went home and she didn't say anything

please, oh please, mother dear, you're in a tunnel and I trapped you there coz it seemed that you and pa never even gave a damn about me or anyone in your general viscosity

I made it clear

I made it here to this timeline

Did you follow, did you follow me

it's too hard to know

It's too hard to see

all your words are there

still here with me

your curse is cast

leave me be

I wanna find my own shelter to confide in

But it seems like you

never held the truth

oh mother dear, you surprise me in every life

you don''t remember what the f**k you said

and that's okay see

keep shitting in my head

I'll sweat it all out dear

I'll let it rot

the crap's still hungry, "Go feed the t**d"

it's all in your mind

All will be just fine

all you need to do is slow down and keep an open mind

But I'm caught in

a state of hyper reality

it seems I'm stuck in my own delusions

i love him, love him

you don't care, don't care

and so why should i

|||

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

...your curse is cast
leave me be...
What a power packed line.

Grieving in a room backed full of family not always easy.

[HB Rita]

Look like a child is talking to her mother explaining grief and frustration. I love this poem.

[FaeryQueen]

yup!!! right on!!

[HB Rita]

You are an awesome writer. I love your style

[FaeryQueen]

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

[HB Rita]

Best wishes