8.11.16 9:57am

ots

its been a while since you were here, but it was only an hour ago since i saw you

i still see your soft eyes and your charisma, your aura that seemed to take my breath away

there are new things i've never learned

i want to dance on rivers

and get lost in the music of the wind

i don't want to remember

i don't want to forget

i can feel you on the inside of my eyelids

i can hold your shadow with clenched fists

i can smell the anticipation of having you this close to me

there are no obstacles because all i see is you

and i wondered

so many things

its been a while since i saw you last

i forgot the way you look

it's been a while since i openly admitted to smiles

since i've seen myself be that way

the way i was never supposed to know

i see my face in the mirror and think to myself

/// god, i wish there was something someone would've told me ///

and then i'd feel my face, tracing the outlines of my nose, my lips and the grooves of the craters stuck on my skin

everything that makes me beautiful

grotesque

marvelous

revolting

they connect, like jointed bricks

i can see them now, as i stand alone in my room.

jagged, rotten, decayed

like raw flesh

but i like the way it looks

i really do.