A Story of Pain & Grief [AKA: My Story]

true story of 2012

It was dark and I heard it; the ticking of my heart as it pounded

I thought… she’d come back for me, I know it

It seemed hours

But really, it was only seconds

She never came back.

 

 

She didn’t

She left me

In the dark

 

 

With someone whom I’ve interpreted as a relative

Son of my mother’s sister

I knew

 

 

But when it happened

I didn’t

I thought… I’m so smart; they’ll come and find me

 

 

 

But by it; I wasn’t at all

They never found me, they never knew

They never noticed

 

 

Something was happening

Inside my being

I wasn’t quite processing reality

 

 

Reality was a blur

The lights seemed to knock my senses down and made it hard to think

I didn’t deserve this

 

 

 

Didn’t deserve … none of it

You don’t know how traumatized I was

You weren’t there

 

 

You didn’t hear my silent calls

And I bet even if you did

You wouldn’t come

 

 

 

After he did what he did, I got off the bed and raced out the door

Grabbed her shoulders

She shook me off

 

 

 

I bet that’s what you would’ve done too

Right?

 

 

 

I had to get away

The only dark place besides my soul, was the bathroom

No electricity

 

 

I thought, perfect!

I went inside

The tears came fast

 

 

Suddenly it seemed as if everyone was in on it, too

As if I was the enemy

But I wasn’t

 

 

Let me take some time out of your hands and show you

How I felt

A crab, in his shell?

 

 

Remove the shell

At that very instance

Everyone was against me

 

 

Trying to hurt me

Trying to attack me

At the instance, no one was my ally

 

 

Now they want me to believe, keep faith and look up hoping for a miracle?

No,

They don’t know what that DID to me

 

 

And it’s funny

Because I keep thinking about it, my mother’s words echoing in my head

“Forgive him”

 

 

Forgive?

What does that mean?