DID

on the spot

it's a little too

hard

for someone

to come along

and tell you

you're not normal

but

i can see it now

although

no ones ever told me i wasn't

i kind of already knew

all my life

the trees

whispered to me

and the household objects

played with me

i had 

so

many

friends

yet i was a loner

i always stuck out

except

i had

my brother

to help me

along the way

as i grew up

i was as happy as i could be

trying to find the sun

in bullying

and i found it

though

her rays were dimmer than it is now

i still found

it 

just

as bright

there were no

sorries

to be said

just a pounding in my head

although i didn't care

i just wanted to be

normal

though i knew

i wasn't

and i 

never

could be

no matter

what i say

doc always finds a way

to make mum believe

that i was

anything but

a human

time came for

me to go

to middle school

everything

was great

until i found myself

somewhere

i couldn't escape

plenty of memories

came over

to me

in the guidance counselors office

accused of things

i vaguely had a clue

about

you know

i always find it so peculiar

when things come undone

i have

a special little

thing i do 

when that time comes around

when things i do

i cannot remember

i just lie

and lie

and lie

until i dismember myself

pressing the self destruct

button

has saved me a many times

on separate occasions

but what works the best is when i shut down

my mind first

then my body

no one can remember

anything else

they're worried

though i don't need for them to be

i'm just fine

i repeat over and over

but then i remember

i am unconscious

at my teen age

i am quite aware

of the things my alters do

when 

how

and where

but they want me to forget

so i go outside

take a walk

and recollect

what happened

by the time i get back

a life time has passed

though i still am within my body

i don't remember anything that went on

when they ask me certain things

i whisper,

"how long have i gone?"