It crawls.

As I sit in a room full of people,
and feel nothing but emptiness
crawling up on me, fast;
growing on me like shadows eclipse the light,
it keeps dragging me back to my past,
just like God annihilates the ungodly at last.

Descried by none while I lay lifeless,
it pulls me by my hair,
then snaps my neck and lets me lose
with my ankles tied again.
I break the shackles one more time,
my soul carries the weight of my remains,
while I run unendingly in a never ending laybrinth,
it hauls back the chains.

Still there, then back in the room,
"How do you write so beautifully?",
they ask.
What do I tell them?
How do I say?
That my mind is a terrible place to stay.

Reviews

[Eilis]

When I got to the end of this, I was reminded of the Hemingway quote that says: ‘there’s nothing to writing, you just sit at the typewriter and bleed.’ I may be misquoting a bit, but I think that’s how it goes.

The things we put in to our writing are so often deeply personal or in some other way representative of parts of ourselves. And when we try to reshape those things into something artistic, they can seem beautiful rather than the dark thing they may be in our minds or hearts.

I liked the metaphor and approach you used in this. Thought the ending was a nice surprise and really got to the heart of what it can be to be a writer sometimes.

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks for the review.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

A dark poem in a labyrinth of emotions that gives birth to creative writing as the introverted writer feels the slings and arrows and turns them into pathos filled poetry.

[Verse]

yes, friend. I can relate so well to a dark mind as the birthplace of flower in verse.

V

[Tinabells]

You always write very well Fairy.. I guess through your words, people can really amazed and moved by your words :)

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks a lot, Tina.

[barleygirl]

One of the most brilliant poems I've read in recent weeks. This is a sharply chiselled point that you make using a delicious caustic style . . . reminds me of how it felt to go to various get-togethers with my family, before I stopped going . . . I had to meditate when I got home, I was such a frazzle after those! I like how the last verse is a twist & it focuses this into a specific realm (I picture a writer signing books in a bookstore), but I also would love this to be more open-ended, as anyone waking up from a daydream while checking out from some boring situation. I love this just the way it is -- not suggesting a change, just rambling (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks a lot for your insights and appreciation. :)

[Chris Shaw]

'That my mind is a terrible place to stay.' One line which speaks volumes about how you feel about yourself. Loneliness is a dreadful place to be. Yes, you can be in a room full of people and yet feel so alone. Other people will see you differently, they look on you in a different way from how you see yourself. We can be our own worse critics and enemy at times. You convey your feelings well here Fairy.

Chris

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks for the visit.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we feel emptiness...we hate what we are writing...and yet what others see is so different.
our demons create wonderful poetry...and those who read us may see our stuff in such a different light.
I like the entire poem...but the last line was really worth waiting for...it is a real explosion..
j.

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks a lot for your kind words, J.