Let me drown.

I wipe the fog off the mirror with my hand,
The frailty in my knees makes it hard to stand,
The blurry bathroom lights impale my eyes,
The water strips me of my perfect disguise.

My skin, red with rage, for the absence of my care,
As I try washing off what isn’t even there.
My body curses me for being plagued with these scars,
Some carved by blades, and some by smoldering cigars.

I breathe and breathe as I run out of air,
‘til all I can see is darkness and fear,
I call out for help but suddenly remember the evil,
That hell isn’t a place, it’s other people.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Writing about self-harm & suicide can come out as a bleak outpouring sometimes, & this is fine for those who need to release the pressure of bottling up such hard feelings. But as writers, we are here to turn our pain into art, rather than a rant (just my preference) -- this is what you've done best here. This is a very artful outpouring with vivid imagery & strong rhyme. I think of cigars smoldering, not blazing (just being picky). I agree that other people create most of the hell we live thru! Powerful ending! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks a lot. I too think that 'smoldering'is the better word. Thanks for the review. It's appreciated.

[NotUsinganymore]

Very interesting poem. Reminds me of a show I recently watched called Strangers From Hell

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks. :)

[Wesley Dingler]

Damn! That was quite something, Kahn. I took the water washing off the perfect disguise as the shower washing off makeup you used to hide some trace of abuse, from others or from yourself--or maybe both.
My heart goes out to you, and you've earned it.
These stanzas are short, but very powerful.

[Fairy Khan]

Thank you, Dingler. Means a lot.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed we can struggle with ourselves emotionally, especially if other people cause us hurt but at least in this the protagonist relaises that other people are to blame. A well writen piece packed with emotion and the scene well set as she looks in the mirror.

[Fairy Khan]

Many thank yous to you, John.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That final line is awesome. There are definitely some people who qualify as hell...
I love your details and vivid imagery in this piece. And it is somewhat relatable to me in places.
Nicely penned, and probably my favorite of yours so far.

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks, Dr. Kay!

[TheJordBaker]

Wow, a powerful piece which grows and grows until a phenomenal ending. Love the last line especially but the imagery of drowning and suffering/struggling is great throughout.

[Fairy Khan]

Thank you. I appreciate your words.

[Li]

So well expressed, people's betrayal can cut us so deep.

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks, Li.

[Anne’sRants]

"That hell isn't a place, it's other people" - what a killer ending. this resonates strongly with me.

[Fairy Khan]

Thanks a lot.

[Digvijay Singh]

My body curses me for being plagued with these scars.
How deep must have been the cuts and burns for someone to write a line like this. Amazing

[Fairy Khan]

Some scars truly never heal.
Thanks for your kind words here. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of description. You made the reader feel the pain and the disappointment. You led the reader to the strong ending. It is terrible what people can do. Thank you for sharing the powerful words and thoughts.
Coyote

[Fairy Khan]

Thank you for reviewing my work, and boosting my confidence. Much appreciated.

[Coyote Poetry]

I am glad and I enjoyed your work. You are welcome.