came to go

hmm

She came
just to tell me
How much now
She does hate me
I said,  ok, but why?
She said don’t ask me!
I said, am I dirt on your dress?
I can then give you needed Clorox
So you can simply mix
Your hatred with Clorox
To get rid of that dirt
If  you needed water
 use my tears
I can't
Really understand
What the reason of that change
Of your strong feelings towards me
In low voice, she started to say
That she can't stop feeling me
But she isn't belonging to me
So she has to hate me
And then she may
Go on her lost way
I felt..nothing to say
Now, I have to lie
And hope she is happy
Even if this happiness
Is a knife killing me

Author's Note

crazyily writing! excuse me

Reviews

[Lady of the Ring]

not crazy. intense, true and to the point

[Miss CB]

Loved the layout. i could really see the pain and enotion in your words too. I really enjoyed this well done!

[Geraldine]

Awww, this is beautifully written. :)

[Suditi]

Its a beautifully written poem.
The pain, the sadness is stark..
And it is an interesting read. I like it.

[Thea]

There is that hidden grief and sorrow in this poem...And crazily writing is just fine! Haha! It can lead to great ideas anyway...I enjoyed this poem! Well done!
:)))

[Coyote Poetry]

"If you needed water
use my tears"
The poem is amazing. Led me into sadness and I could the pain and loss in every thought create by this poem. I enjoyed the complete poem. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Renée]

Its not crazy writing at all... and the feeling you expressed in English writing you did very well... people do hate upon those they care about...I don't understand it myself..but I have experienced it...

[Mockingbird]

i don't think she is happy to leave you. women are so changeable. we say things we don't mean all the time. maybe she keeps wanting you to beg her to stay, playing games. she could just have been in a passion and said 'i hate you' but it's obvious that she really loves you. you can't say you hate a person if you don't have a degree of love for them. the narrator is so honest and sympathetic. i know i only recap all the time but i really enjoy your poetry.

[>-Eros->]

A bad kind of friend is the type to profess only love for you, nobody is perfect so if they do not show some hate, they lie. The worst kind is one who claims to be a friend but remains indifferent, one who does not care. This girl sounds like the best kind of friend, because she's so willing to say she loves you, and then to say she hates you, and then to confess she is lost. She is telling you everything! Do the same, tell her every feeling you have. Then in her eyes, she too will have the best kind of friend. Nice writing Khalid... wonderful expressions in here.

[Corey Coreys]

I love the power and the almost disjointed way its written. Really adds to the given points. Great job :D