day dream

hmm

I was laying on the sands of the shore
Looking at the sea
In my hands I had a journal, I put it down feeling bore
When suddenly, a shining body started to appear
Walking towards me
Is that a big fish?or it is a pearl?
I cant see
Getting closer, I started to
Glory to the god, who has created you!
Every nice quality, in a lady, has put in you
She is still so wet as if she is still in the sea
Maybe she wanted to leave the sea but the sea
Couldn’t leave her
So he sent a part of him
To stay with her
Her long dark black hair
So wet that it
All together looked
Like one long hair
Like a rope tying me to her
The color of each cheek
Du e to the sea and sun, got so unique
Mixture of red rosy purple white and pink
The two pomegranates on her chest
Shaking in two parallel lines, right then left
Fast shakes but they never met
How long on that have they been trained?
Is she walking, or on birds songs she slightly danced?
Is she dressed or undressed? No difference
Since her dress
And her soft skin
Has become one
Or maybe the skin
Has already swallowed the dress
But the dress looked
Like thin layer of cream
That I started to dream
Of tasting it
I got my journal in my front
Maybe trying to protect
Myself from the desire arrows aimed
At me
But how can it
Prevent
Those strong arrows from reaching me?
But
When the arrows started to touch
Me they started to melt
Due to the desire oven in me
The sea water drops
Falling from her body
Made me hope I have a pot

Collecting it
Before melting the sands
Imagining the way of every drop
Starting from her head
To chest
Between   pomegranates
Then  straight
To navel
Then down
To the unknown
Moving her right leg
Followed by the left
And I m following every step
That my eyes became in the top
Of my head
Hoping instead
Of going straight
She would bend
To where I sit
And then
Seeing her smiling
All the happiness I felt
But
I found out that
She was not
Smiling to me
She was smiling to that
Man sitting
Behind me!

Author's Note

from mind directly to here, sure alot of mistakes

Reviews

[Wolf's Dark Song]

A wonderful wonderful poem! Very romantic with a disappointing ending for the man doing the daydreaming! Great storytelling in this, outstanding imagery and descriptions. Reading this was truly a delight! You did an outstanding job on this.

Thanks for the review you did for me!

[Lady of the Ring]

amazing. romantic and dreamy. i look forward to reading more like this

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

Very wisful and beautiful. I feel sorry for the poor guy though. This is really good.

[Emilie Barn]

I like the end, it made your poem being more nice, and the way you described one small situation from life. Generally, I really enjoyed reading it =))

[Marie]

At first I thought this creature was a mermaid or a sea goddess. Your description was so perfect. And what a disappointment in the end. How often smiles are for someone else. Yes, there are some mistakes, but they're not mistake mistakes, they're only mistakes. That may be confusing, but your poem is not.

[Melati]

everything in this poem was perfect, accept the ending i do not like because is very sad ending. thanks for sharing!

C

[Coyote Poetry]

The ending made the poem perfect. I like the way you led me into a very interesting tale with a real ending. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Thea]

Aw! Haha! Gotta love the ending! I was surprised! Great descriptions and twist! I really enjoyed this one! It was quite humorous!
Well done!
:)))

[Renée]

I adored this writing ! Written dreamy..lead me to think it was heading one directions then...surprise ! You ended with a twist that left me giggling ! A much needed lift ! Thank you !

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Your Day dream was mesmerizing... to be hynotized by such beauty, is an amazing feeling... you have captured the essence of the fantasy...This is Nicely written. :)