caring

caring

A Poem by khalid
"

is caring enough to get love?

"

 

I hear your silence

I see you even if my eyes are closed

I feel your presence

Either you are far away or so closed

I breathe your essence

Specially when no perfume is used

I can feel your tense

When you start to feel bored

You are my compass

You can direct my mood

So it doesn’t make sense

When you can't find your road

And you get in a mess

That you heartily pray to Lord

To give you strength

To lighten your load

Even if this load

Is

me

© 2012 khalid


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Reviews

So tender your heart song..you take her completely in and yet you are uncertain of where you stand in her life... I find it interesting, how every sentence starts with upper case, except the last word. Which is "me" it adds to the vulnerable feeling in your poem.. I mined and found a gem ( :

Posted 11 Years Ago


Renée

11 Years Ago

I bet you say that to all the girls lol
khalid

11 Years Ago

if you say..ok.
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
A really deep and introspective write Khalid...I truly enjoyed how you expressed your longing. Nicely done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Nice introspective style.

Posted 12 Years Ago


'Even if this load is me' Do we have the courage to say this for real?...... A very powerful piece Khalid!

Posted 12 Years Ago


Its really full with sadness, emotional and real! I like it...

Posted 12 Years Ago


very nice! good flow and really emotion provoking

Posted 12 Years Ago


Great flow and rhythm, reads very smoothly. It's from the heart. Great work!

Posted 12 Years Ago


hmm very nice

Posted 12 Years Ago


Such emotions expressed within the words in this poem... nice, enjoyed.

Posted 12 Years Ago


the lover always puts his lady on a pedestal. then he puts himself down as if he is only a burden to her or is undeserving of her love. it's sad to see when the lover always puts himself down.

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on March 13, 2012
Last Updated on March 13, 2012

Author

khalid
khalid

October 6th City, Giza, Egypt



About
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