Rock and Water

most of people think that ladies can never hurt but they really do

 

 

Don't try to show me your real feelings

Trust me, you will find nothing to show

You would better keep on telling me your lies

You are great in that, you always have something new

From that high peak your river of lies rises

Then it starts its aggressive cruel wild flow

On that high peak, a simple hard small rock lays

Covered with pure white ice and snow

It could survive, nothing could break her for years

It was never stepped by any, none has ever passed through

But for you, nothing is forbidden, no morals

Most important is your continuous flow

You have uncovered the rock, regardless to tears

Aggressively pushing her, down it started to go

In a very hard journey a lot of victims she shares

From the high peak to the low bottom, nobody cares

Who would feel sympathy to a hard rock, with no tears?

Who would think that the fresh sweet liquid water can hurt

Such a hard strong solid rock , oh..sure it cant

But now, after you grabbed me from the highest top

To the lowest bottom, nothing more i fear to lose

I feel spunky enough to tell you, Miss Water, you are nothing

You have no color, no flavour, no taste

Don't get proud, I'm too hard for you to break

If you think you've done, you commit your life's biggest mistake

 

Author's Note

when there is a problem between a couple always man is to be blamed..

Reviews

[fiery-san]

I like the symbolism in your poetry, I like how it depicts how someone so strong can be corroded but at the same time there are those who dared to defy and continue on despite the hardships. Good one. ^_^

[patricia]

lots of emotions going on there. could feel the hurt beneath it all. Its a hard one for me to review in a detached way. In terms of a vent it is a good way of letting off steam. In terms of right and wrong I prefer to drop the idea of blame altogether, where one has to be in the right and the other in the wrong, I prefer to try to see things from a win win position. Still you must love her because hate and love are two sides of the same coin. It is only when you reach indifference that you no longer care. I liked the middle part of your work where it touched on the rock having no feelings. It made me think of people who are blocked in grief and have closed down. Loved it. Thanks Khalid.

[khalid]

thank you so much..

[Coyote Poetry]

Take two to tangle. When there are problems. Most times both people are in involved. A interesting tale in the poem. Take two to make peace and two to create separation. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Sola]

Interesting, nice choice in analogies, they seemed to coincide well with your overall theme. The one thing I might say however, is that even though a substance my be hard and durable enough not to be broken by a rivers flow, it is still regardless going to be worn down by the water passing over it through the years.

[luviva]

ohh yeh absolutely ryt. but i loved it when you used the miss water imagery, it really relates well to the situation really great and gripping!!
nice write...

[Renée]

I like very much how you can compare natures lessons to human situations..and makes one really think !
Just like water with its continuous dripping causing indents & crevices upon rocks...words in anger or lies in any relationship can also cause damage..OR in this case hardening the heart to protect ones self, from the continual cruelty of the other…
Your description "You have no color, no flavor, no taste" .. pretty shallow person you wrote of.. but this kind of person can be male or female..
I think we have all with stood this type of person..we stand and say "no big deal" but secretly we bleed, heal & bear the scars...
Your a very deep man.. Khalid.. It is a honor to read your work

[khalid]

it is my honor that you read for me, more honor that you post a review, and most honor that you like my writing..

[Sleeping Maiden]

Wow, i can feel the pain through this poem. Hardships in relationships are never easy. I do see your point. Women can be like that.. to assume that a man can't break. But if she just sees how much the guy cares.. or if she could just see...
I really love this one. It's sad but i love the metapors and imagery being told in your view. Even if a couple is having problems, its not always the man. = ) just saying. But most would blame on their guy. >.< Nice poem! I like it! ~

[khalid]

thank you. it is really appreciated..

[Sleeping Maiden]

= ) no problem

[Mockingbird]

great symbolism. your poem reads like an allegory. i like how you say she has 'no color, no flavour, no taste.' that's a succinct description of a woman without substance. if she's not moved by these words and realize what she has done then her heart is hard like a rock. excellent poem. you're a prolific man.

[khalid]

thank you so much Moc...you know how much your opinion is important..

[Frieda P]

Hmmm sounds like sour grapes....someone that's been jilted. I love the content, it's spicy and sharp, I would assume like the person you're speaking of. Although, sometimes it's about us. Nice read, I guess we all know someone like this....

[khalid]

thank you, i think this person is common...most famous on earth lol

[Frieda P]

I hope you're not talking about me ;-)

[Frieda P]

And we only blame men because you ARE to blame :P

[khalid]

why would i b talking about you? im not..and also men say that women are to be blamed..it depends anyway on the situation, sometimes both are to be blamed sometimes one of them..

[Frieda P]

Wrong, it's always the MAN lol ;-P

[khalid]

i dont think we can get out with a result if we go in such an arguement. as a lady it is normal if you say it is the man, as a man i wont accept it..who was said to cause Adam out of Eden?anways..none is perfect..

[Frieda P]

Only because 'man' wrote the book...if a woman took that pen, you guys would be giving birth :)