Rock and Water

most of people think that ladies can never hurt but they really do

 

 

Don't try to show me your real feelings

Trust me, you will find nothing to show

You would better keep on telling me your lies

You are great in that, you always have something new

From that high peak your river of lies rises

Then it starts its aggressive cruel wild flow

On that high peak, a simple hard small rock lays

Covered with pure white ice and snow

It could survive, nothing could break her for years

It was never stepped by any, none has ever passed through

But for you, nothing is forbidden, no morals

Most important is your continuous flow

You have uncovered the rock, regardless to tears

Aggressively pushing her, down it started to go

In a very hard journey a lot of victims she shares

From the high peak to the low bottom, nobody cares

Who would feel sympathy to a hard rock, with no tears?

Who would think that the fresh sweet liquid water can hurt

Such a hard strong solid rock , oh..sure it cant

But now, after you grabbed me from the highest top

To the lowest bottom, nothing more i fear to lose

I feel spunky enough to tell you, Miss Water, you are nothing

You have no color, no flavour, no taste

Don't get proud, I'm too hard for you to break

If you think you've done, you commit your life's biggest mistake

 

Author's Note

when there is a problem between a couple always man is to be blamed..

Reviews

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

I can sense pride, uncertainty and retribution in this piece. The ill feelings not subsided till the end. The person learned from the past mistakes but still the journey will not end and there is no forgiveness. "This piece is emotional and stand out." There is an adamant culture highlighted. "Good penned." Keep writing!

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You have depicted the art of resistance...resisting each other, when neither one will give an inch to reconcile... (the rock is too hard and cold, and the water is colorless, flavorless, and tasteless, as if non-existent) Well done Khalid!

[MOON]

The blame game, two sides to every story, in male dominated societies women don't always have a voice. Still each situation is different we need to tackle the problem and treat each other with greater respect . Less stereotypes . Good write.

[khalid]

thank you Moon, happy new year

[Jeff]

Excellent work. I loved this piece for the imagery that you portrayed.

[khalid]

thank you. happy new year..

[PP]

Perfectly written, nice concept. Blame Game is the Breaking Relationship Syndrome. Good work Khalid:)

[Bidu Ibrahim]

Another interesting piece from Khalid! You have a unique power of imagination.. Keep it up

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

amazing , really !

[de_maruf]

fine

[Irene S]

I loved this one. The concept is really nice & the rhyming scheme is superb! :)

[khalid]

thank you

[.]

~ this is a very, very, very insightful piece of writing... in societies where women have been oppressed since centuries, this is what happens... although evolution has happened, my society is still a male-dominated society... and sadly, i have seen the worst of it... but i think that we need to understand our men... they are not entirely responsible for being domineering... quite a lot of it is social baggage... ~ plus, i do believe that communication and understanding between two honest human beings can solve all problems... ~ i applaud you for the way you respect women and their condition in male-dominated societies... in such societies, men always blame women... but you have exposed those men and those societies brilliantly... excellent work, dear khalid...

[khalid]

first, thank you for reading and your review is really highly appreciated. i belong to the same society since i come from the middle east. but in my own opinion, relationship between a man and a woman is not that easy to be controled by society rules.

[.]

~ i hear you, dear khalid... ~ i think i felt that way because in my story, families created many problems... but maybe this does not happen in every story...

[khalid]

im looking forward to reading more for you but i like to read with complete concentration and deep feelings so i am not a fast reader..i will read your story to get what you mean as soon as possible

[.]

~ thank you so much... i haven't written it as such... but i'll write it in a paragraph soon and email it to you...

[khalid]

looking forward to it..