A Need to Bleed

 

 

The body..unable to carry

Its own blood

So it decided to just

Get rid of it

For a very little price,

It has offered it

But...no customers have asked for it

The body put..extra discount

But still…none!

As a gift?

 for nothing?

Still, nobody cared!

The body decided

 however the pain,

I will cut a vein

To get clean

Of every drop of it

 

Who would afford such blood

With all of this sorrow in it?

Such blood is useless

In a world of carelessness

 

 

 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Too much blood is being spilled. Need less spilling of blood. Good men and woman need to gather and rebirth peace and friendship. I feel sad and disappointed
when I hear of people in this world dying for leaders who have no concern for families left alone and cities destroyed. War lead to bleeding a nation dried. No-one wins in war and desire to bleed. Need forgiveness and tear for the millions who died for the profit of hate and profit. Thank you for the excellent poem. Need no more blood. Need peace for all woman and children to be safe.
Coyote

[Pawprints]

I love the idea and image, so to speak, of blood being seen and presented as an unwanted gift. Nice write!

[Andorianskye]

ok call me crazy i liked this

[khalid]

i would call myself crazy as well if so..

[patricia]

Blood and its life force, with all it connotations. You have expressed your ideas well and used a potent idea as your vehicle. Admirable.

[Pukka]

Now that was powerful. It's both very personal and impersonal at the same time. To me this feels like a poem about self injury rather than wars but that's just my interpretation of it, I'd like to know your thinking behind it. The flow is wonderful and your use of language is simple and moving. My only piece of constructive criticism is that two full stops isn't actually anything in english, it should just be one or three (an elipsis). Also is the full stop in the line 'the body. Put extra discount...' A typo? Because it breaks the flow of this sentence entirely. Overall a wonderfully moving piece and I really love how you've portrayed this.

[Starfruitanimal]

"such blood is useless in a world of carelessness" that line is very well written. the horrors of this world can be sometimes unbearable. i feel the tone of this poem, well done

[The dark story]

that as just though provoking.so outstanding and a great theme.and really touching.......i love the flow of the poem.really great.nice work!!!!!

[dunnia]

i love the feeling of the sorrow in this poem great work

[Virtuosa X]

I don't know what it is, but there's something about this...I just love it. The wording, the thought, the emotions it evoked while I read it...Just so intense.
Great Work my Friend!

[Renée]

I envision two things ...
1.. the needlessness of war and violence..Coyote expresses it so well ... I wish it to end..and I don't understand why ! and yet I do..power..greed..evil..and it sickens me..
2. Blood is life and very precious..your piece also reminds me of my Faith...

[Marvin]

Good