Chapter One

A Chapter by HibikiEcho

CHAPTER ONE

I'm on the roof and its raining. The water poured on me, making my hair stick to my face. When I look up and close my eyes slightly, time seems to slow up.

"Pick my left pocket of its silver dime, but spare the right - it holds my golden time!..Oliver Wendell Holmes" I spoke.

The darkness replied with only a moments silence then it and nature began to waltz. The night is time, with out stars how would we know the time, how would we know what to look foward to. The tranquility of night soothes all sorrows while the moon howls a lullaby as the stars fills us with wisdom for more to come.

"Wise quote, my lady" Acknowledged the silhouette from behind.

"Yeah" I said. Turning to look at the figure in the window. "It's late" He explained.

I climbed onto the windowsill and threw my legs over, having done this a million times I had it down pat. I landed on my giant bean bag as usual and greeted my papa who was scanning my little bookshelf. My papa's name was Eli Vang. The tall, dark, and handsome Eli Vang; sun-tanned from spending every vacation in cuba Eli Vang. Papa is an actor widely known but moving here in Carrabassett Valley, Maine he can hide away from paparazzies and such. We followed the same routine day after day; it was all the same. I'd take a bath, get into my pajamas and my papa would brush, comb and roll my aburn hair. I inheritate from my mother who I barely knew. I've always had this small hatred for my head it was too long. No that's an understatement. It was so long that I could utterly sit on my hair, papa refused to have it cut. Yeah, saying that my hair was too long was an understatement but still each night papa would roll my damp hair so that during the night it would dry and there would be a volcano of curls rushing down my back. I guess he wanted to pretend as if we hadn't just got of the airplane this afternoon. It wasn't the fact that I was moving of the fact that I was leaving behind my school, friends don't matter when you don't have any. The problem was that on our way here from california, I lost all of my belongings. The only belongings I had were the ones that I carried in my backpack with me on the plane, a laptop, two nutri-gran bars, a book, and my cherished stuffed hippo named Russel. The airplane was too cold and the careless attendant spilt everyone of my drinks. And just because it's first-class don't expect anything different than coach than the comfortable seats, I've had better food.

Afterwords, he tucks me in- Honestly I knew I was to big to be getting tucked in at this age but old habits die hard- He'd pecked me quickly on the lips.

Then, "bonne nuit et le sommeil bien" he'd whisper in my ear. Which I still did not know the meaning of for fear the magic would be gone if I know the meaning, meaning ruins everything.

I'd listen to him decend the creaky steps of a two-hundred year old house. Then walk into his room on the second floor and close his door. I'd lay there while remembrance enveloped me. Not long after slumber came knocking. He pounded and pounded but remembrance would not leave until it's mission was completed and stubbornly stayed until finnally the lamp came on and I knew that in approximitly eight hours the ten-month cycle of education would begin.

"Hurry, hurry your going to be late" Shouted papa as I ran out the house. I was just in time, But I saw that I wasn't the only one running late. We leaped in together.

"Greetings Madamoiselle Briar-Rose, and Monseiur Apollo" Bus Driver Greg Howards said.

Me and Greg go way back. He used to be our limosine driver until we moved and had to be inconspicuous as papa refered to it as. But I refused to let him go and luckily Greg had some family here. Oh, i almost forgot to tell you my name is Briar-Rose Vang. I am my father's child is the commonly used saying my relatives use because me and my papa could be faternal twins if it wasn't for the age difference, of course. But it doesn't matter she's gone now. She left us and all that's left of her is a picture of her, my papa and I standing on the beach with the waves gently rolling.

"Hello Greg"I called as we made our way to the last seat in the back of the bus.

"You have to start from scratch...and I was wondering just how you planned to do that" Apollo slumped in the seat next to me placing his head on my shoulder.

"well, not entirely from scratch I've still got you, sidekick" I pointed out.

© 2009 HibikiEcho

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Reviews

Neversee

You definitely have a story to tell. Slow it down dear, dress it. Check your tenses, I mean commit yourself to this right? So, dress it right so there are no distractions. Is it present tense? Or past tense? Then re-read it for just that one aspect. Like for example your first two lines contradict each other, but it happens to everyone. Then consider the background, the setting, think of it in a stranger's mind. Do you describe enough first?
You want people to see the beauty, the transformation of your characters. So feed it to us slowly, make us savor, experience the entire story.
You know it, you know the story, take the time it deserves. So just restructure a bit, every story, every book, every author is refine, refine and refine. This is a gem in the making.