Unending

Something constant, in this ever changing times

"Oh, you remember?" She excitedly asked. "Of course I do. Sunday, see you by 7:00 p.m. at my place? You, Karen and me." "Sure! Can’t wait!"

 

And the call disconnects. Cheryl sat down on a couch and started to plan for the day, when a deep voice woman entered her room saying, "We have been invited in a gathering in our locality, on Sunday. Cheryl, fold all the clothes kept on the table in my room, okay?"

"Okay mommy, coming..." She replied.

After a minute when she got up from the couch, heading towards mother's room, she cried, "Oh crap! Kevin just called and said to be there by 7:00 p.m. on Sunday, mommy just right now mentioned about!! I will have to tell him that I won't be available at 7 but later that night."

She briskly finished the work given to her by mom, and dialled Kevin, to tell him about her unavoidable gathering. After much grumbling by him, it was settled. They decided that she would see him around 10:00 p.m. instead.

 

On Sunday, Cheryl woke up on her bed with a bit excitement in her heart. She was all feeling tingly and excited but also nervous about tonight. Maybe it was so because of the history between them.

 

Her day went almost too slow for her liking. She could not wait to say good night to the sun so that she can indulge in the night. But first, “Cheryl, get ready quickly!” Her mom yelled from the other room, getting ready herself. “We have to leave now for the social gathering! Don’t forget you are dancing with Peggy and Tessa!” She rolled her eyes and started putting make up on.

 

10 minutes later, she was walking besides her mom who was grumbling under her breath as Cheryl took few minutes extra to pack her bag. She took deep breaths as she would be soon out of the gathering full of pretentious and obnoxious people and get to chill with her some of the favourite people in her world.

 

Kevin, Karen and Cheryl were all childhood friends. All three of them used to hang out all the time. There was lot of unsaid things between Kevin and her; but it had been so long that everyone had assumed that this was their version of normal. Through time, Karen became his girlfriend. So, all the three of them couldn't hang out the same way they used to before. Kevin had promised Cheryl to make a plan for a sleep over / slumber party at their place few months before she was legal to drink and this was him keeping his promise, which was the reason why Cheryl trusted him a lot.

 

She could never feel something more electrifying, than walking on the way Kevin’s place. The soft and cool breeze on the summer night which drifted past her seemed to be saying, ‘you’re going to have an unforgettable night.’

 

 She knocked the door, and Karen opened it. “Hey! Finally! You made it!” Kevin’s loud voice made sure that the party was on tonight. They hugged, and Cheryl sat around the table beside Kevin, after high-fiving. Karen was an awesome cook! She made potato fries for the side, and the main plan, which was staying up all night partying & drinking together had marked a start.

 

As this was her first time, she was sitting expectantly as Kevin and Karen quickly and expertly arranged their sitting area moving tables and chairs to clear a good space on the floor to sit in a relaxed manner. As Kevin took out the bottle of vodka from his hiding space bearing a big smile; their eyes met just for a moment both acknowledging the significance of this night.

“Here you go!” Karen said, carrying three plates laden with delicious food. She never grew tired of Karen’s cooking, she thought inwardly. She in turn took out a packet of chips from her bag that she was carrying and put it on the floor as a custom; as Kevin had explained.

 

“When friends drink together, it’s customary for each to make their own contribution. Now I know that you are still not working, so just bring something small just for its sake.”

 

It was still at least an hour before they could start. She was feeling excited, as how this totally new experience will feel. Kevin expertly broke the sealed bottle and poured it out of the glasses one by one; raising each one to his eyes. It seemed that his eyes were the metric system; pouring exactly 60 ml to each glass. Then he looked up and asked, “Water?” Karen nodded. He then grabbed the bottle of water and poured into one glass and handed it to Karen. “Water for her, Mountain Dew for me and Cheryl” and poured mountain dew into the both the glasses and handed one to her. Now taking his glass in his hand, he looked and Karen and smiled. Karen seemed to realise something as she chimed up, “Okay now we will do the cheers okay Cheryl? Remember to take at least a sip from your glass after doing the Cheers ok? Don’t put the glass down without taking a sip.” Cheryl nodded, her face shining with anticipation and excitement. “Don’t forget the tribute!” Kevin reminded. “O yes the tribute!” Karen continued. “Now before raising a glass to us, we need to give a tribute to the place we are celebrating. Lightly dip your ring finger in the glass,” she said, while demonstrating with hers, “and take it out and sprinkle the drop in the room, like so.” She finished, as she took her hand and did a little flick with her ring finger. Kevin followed suit. Cheryl enthusiastically imitated them quickly, eager to join and learn the new customs.

 

“Now let’s Cheers!” Kevin said.

“To us!” Karen rang, as their glasses clanged together

Cheryl laughed and said, “Yea let’s be together! To us!”

 

And they all drank from their glasses. After finishing their first round, they seemingly started sharing the hilarious incidents they could recall at that time. It was Cheryl's first time, and she was overwhelmed with every emotion one can possibly have. She thought the liquid was palatable and refreshing enough for her bored soul, after the gathering.

 

“I hated going there today,” Cheryl shared, making a face. “I was waiting for all day for this time.” “Well it has been quite a day for us as well,” Karen said, speaking bit clearer now after her drink. “You wouldn’t believe what was the condition of the house. It took me all day to get it right.” Cheryl smiled, knowing Karen had a knack for cleaning and organizing stuff. She could not bear anything out of place for a long time. “Kevin isn’t helping out as usual?” Cheryl said, shooting a mischievous look towards him, hoping to get Karen ranting. “Well he helps, but not as much as I would like,” Karen said, pulling a face and looking at Kevin. He just smiled pensively, but didn’t say anything.

 

 

For a while everyone sat quietly, drinking and thinking what to talk about next. In that moment of silence, Cheryl thought back about times when they used to hang out and how this seemingly impossible idea to have this party was brought out.

 

It was before Karen & Kevin was a couple, Cheryl was hanging out with Kevin and complaining to him that all her friends go out drinking with her friends and she hasn’t had a drink yet. She was scared and worried as what would her friends think.

 

Seeing her wondering like that, Kevin had said that he’ll make sure that she’ll get drunk for the first time with him. She knew that Kevin liked her a lot that time since she knew but she had never led him on, and he was respectful enough of her wishes to not cross that line. She knew that she was creating more pain in his heart by regularly hanging out with him, but she loved his company. She would share her wildest thoughts with him without the fear of being judged.

 

“Wow!” Kevin exclaimed, “You finished almost with us, Cheryl, proud of you!” Blinking, Cheryl looked at both of them sitting across the floor from her, both holding their empty glasses. She sat up and said, “I’m not feeling anything!” Kevin and Karen both exchanged knowing looks. “What?” Cheryl asked, agitated she was not let in on their inside joke. “Give it time,” Karen said, reassuringly.

 

“I’ll be back,” Kevin said suddenly standing up, impersonating Schwarzenegger in the funniest way, “from the Johns’”. He left both of the ladies chuckling as he walked away from the room.

 

“This is so much fun!” Cheryl said. “I never thought that this would happen!” “Well it’s a special night for you!” Karen replied. “I remember my first time drinking booze in college. It was during a campfire. I took a sip and I hated it so much that I almost threw up! I hadn’t had a drink since... well, Kevin took me out.” She stopped speaking to pick up the bottle to repeat our drinks. “Hey wait! Let us take a selfie with the bottle!” Cheryl chirped, pulling out her phone.

 

Next few minutes was spent both of them making many faces and clicking photos of themselves as Kevin returned, “So ready for the next one?” He again made the drinks with accuracy and was about to pour water for Karen when she asked for the Dew for her as well. So he mixed the cold drink and water in all three of their glasses and started drinking.

 

After 2 glasses down, Cheryl was happy drunk and wanted to dance. She coaxed the other two, to dance together. Kevin was a sufficiently crooked human being, who was forever ready to dance on to the beats of 'happy', so he got up, and accompanied Cheryl, whilst Karen was responsible enough to relocate the glasses, so that nobody tripped over them. Then the track changed to the ‘Ketchup song’ and all of them moved their hips and hands in tune with the rhythm.

 

All the three of them were fire, full of madness and being irresponsible that night. Cheryl definitely let her hair down by trying smoking also for the first time. Karen does not like Kevin smoking; he has to ask her permission to smoke. But since today was drinking all around, even Karen let it slide and allowed him to smoke. But Cheryl could not get the smoke to come out of her mouth the way it should be. Kevin told her to take a drag, say her name and then let the smoke out. But she could not do it.

 

Cheryl hazily remembered their earlier days when it was so simple. She did not even have to tell to Kevin anything she wanted him to understand, he just got her. All those years - she knew he liked her a lot - she didn’t have to tell him for him to get that she wasn’t into him. He just smiled and carried on that nothing had hurt him and everything was fine. She was his best friend and although she had many friends; it was clear that she trusted him and turned to him at the time of her need.

 

Cheryl was getting hazy drunk and starting to miss her boyfriend Paul. She pulled out her phone hoping to hear his voice when suddenly she saw two hazy shapes jumping in front of her; one taking her phone and one holding her steady. “What?” she slurred. “I told you no contacting boyfriend while you are drunk!” Kevin’s voice boomed in her ear as his face came in focus. “Yea Cher, don’t go drunk dialling your mate,” Karen continued as she held her steady. “Especially since this is something that he doesn’t know, right?” “But I want to hear his voice! I miss him!” Cheryl begged Karen. “No dear, it won’t be wise. You’ll get your phone tomorrow morning”. Karen’s tender but firm voice finally got into Cheryl’s drunken brain. Karen continued, “You just talked to him before starting na? We told you to get it out and talk to him before starting”, in an effort to soothe her. Cheryl said nothing, just made a face and said, “Make my drink please.” She sat down, trying to keep still and her wits about her.

 

Karen looked at her boyfriend and indicated that Cheryl has had too much to handle herself. He nodded and made her drink lighter than both of them. He wasn’t even half as drunk as Cheryl, but both of them knew beforehand that this night was for Cher and not them.

 

Handing Cheryl her drink, Kevin was thankful that Karen was there with him; through thick and thin ever since they had gotten together. If she weren’t probably he’d have died from the heart ache. He love Karen very much and now Cheryl was now just a great friend for whom he had a ‘crush’ for before falling madly in love with Karen.

 

Karen watched apprehensively as Cheryl knocked back her drink boldly. “If she throws up, you will clean it up,” She told Kevin in a low, stern voice that she hoped he gotten the gravity of the situation. “Relax,” he said. “I’ll drag her a*s to the washroom.”

 

It was not long before Cheryl was on the floor, lying on face first. She was trying to move her hands and lift her head but nothing was working for her anymore. She remembers saying weakly, “Puke” and felt Kevin literally dragging her to the restroom.

 

Cheryl was like a broken hydrant; everything flowing out uncontrollably. Even then Karen held her while Kevin wiped the puke from her and got her hair out of the way. Then Karen left to quickly tidy up the place and put a makeshift bed on the floor for Cheryl to sleep. “I don’t want her puking on the bed!” she replied when he asked about the arrangement.

 

Cheryl was in the washroom for about an hour; puking and sitting with her head in the toilet. She was feeling terrible; as if her insides were burning and someone had put a cement mixer in her stomach. She was hurling uncontrollably. Her legs felt like jelly and they couldn’t support her own weight. Her head seemed to be spinning out of control which made her feel like hurling more.

 

She lost track of time. She felt someone carrying her to the other room, after washing her face and wiping it clean. It all seemed hazy, but she felt Karen’s touch as she changed her out of her soiled clothes and gave her a warm, clean dress. She tried to smile but was not sure whether her mouth was smiling or she just felt happy in all the misadventures of tonight. She recognized the two voices speaking, and even though she couldn’t understand what they were saying but she knew she was with people whom she cared the most about.

 

“Well, I think she’s down for the night,” Kevin said after putting Cheryl to bed. Karen made a face. “I told you she was taking her drink far too quickly.”

 

“I think you should stay here for a while,” Kevin told her, a look of concern on his face. “If she starts throwing up again, you need to take her to the washroom.” “Wow! You’re a genius!” Karen snapped sarcastically. “Do you think I’ll be able to carry her? It’s best that you stay here. You can use the chairs here together to lie down,” she finished, reasonably.

 

Kevin thought about what she said and nodded in agreement. Well she was right and it was ultimately his responsibility for her well being. Deep down he was nervous whether Cheryl was alright.

 

“Good night love, I’ll miss you!” Karen kissed him good night. Kevin hugged her and said, “Love you too dear. Did you have good time tonight?” he asked, in concern. Karen smiled, “Yea baby. I really had a good time, though I could have had one more drink.” She looked at the bottle. “Don’t suppose we could finish up?” Kevin smiled. There were only few sips left.

 

They quickly clinked there glasses as Cheryl groaned. They chuckled, and knocked back the rest of their drink. They kissed again and Karen said good night.

 

It was 3 AM when Kevin finally lied down on the chairs to make a makeshift bed. He looked over at Cheryl, who seemed like regurgitating. He jumped up, and carried her into the washroom again. She threw up on the hall before he could make it.

 

He put her to bed after cleaning her again but Cheryl put her arms around him and wouldn’t let go. His heart skipped a bit for a second and he flashed back to all those years. Then he remembered that she was drunk and wasn’t responsible for her actions. He gently untangled himself and put her head on the pillow and moved to lie down.

 

“Don’t leave me na!” Cheryl mumbled drunkenly. Kevin froze and turned to look at her. She was there, with her arms outstretched towards him, with a pained look in her eyes. His heart stopped beating again as he forgot to breathe. He almost flew into her arms, hugging her, comforting her as she again passed out.

 

His heart beating heavily, he pulled away from Cheryl for the third time. He sighed and lied down for the night.

 

“Hey! Good morning!” Karen’s voice broke his slumber. He sat up and looked around and saw Karen in the room, looking as though she also just woke up. “Check on her please,” She said, kneeling down besides Cheryl, a look of a concern on her face.

 

Kevin leaned over to check her vitals and then reassured Karen. Sure enough, sleeping beauty woke up after half an hour or so. Both of the peers alternatively relaxed and blamed Cheryl for last night. She was totally dumbfounded but feeling loved within her little sanctuary of friends.

 

 

Cheryl walked back home, thinking about last night. She was experiencing a very bad hangover, but she felt very happy and content all the same. This was something special that she had just experienced which will be forever between the three of them. She won’t be even telling her boyfriend about this. She felt that this was something very special that she shared with her best friends.

 

It has been a year. Kevin and Karen have now moved to a different city. They keep in touch, but Cheryl wishes only if they had one more night like that one. Maybe she could do things differently this time. Maybe she won’t be the one with regret in her heart. Little did she know, Kevin was thinking the exact same things.

Author's Note

This is a collaborative work by me and my neice, Shreesha aka Fieora. She came up with the story layout. Would love reviews

Reviews

[JayG]

• "Oh, you remember?" She excitedly asked. "Of course I do. Sunday, see you by 7:00 p.m. at my place? You, Karen and me." "Sure! Can’t wait!"

So first, you present someone unknown talking to someone not introduced. THEN, you tell the reader is was a phone call? You know what’s going on as you read the paragraph. The unknown “she” does, too. So does the one she’s talking to. And if there’s anyone in the room with either of them, they know. But who did you write this for? Shouldn’t they know? Unless the reader has context as-they-read, the words are meaningless.

• And the call disconnects.

Hmmm…so she didn’t end the call, it just disconnected? It’s not what you meant, but it is what you said. And all the reader has is what the words suggest to them, based on their background and understanding, not yours.

• Cheryl sat down on a couch and started to plan for the day, when a deep voice woman entered her room saying…

And here we come to the crux of the problem. We’re not with Cheryl and living her day with her. Instead, you’re mentally watching the film version and recording YOUR impressions of what you’re “seeing.” But she is NOT a “deep voiced woman” to Cheryl. And she is not an unknown character who steps into the room. No one cares how you see her, or what you think of her, or what might strike a stranger, because it’s not-your-story it’s Cheryl’s. And Cheryl sees her mom. So if she's our avatar what she notices matters to us. What you notice is irrelevant.

What you’re doing is talking to the reader about the events as YOU view them. But you’re not in the story or on the scene. So if we’re with you we’re hearing the story second-hand from someone who has no emotion in their voice, because we can’t hear you and don’t know how you would read your lines. You can tell us how Mom speaks, and how Cheryl reacts, but you CANNOT tell the reader how you speak. Have your computer read the piece aloud to hear what the reader gets instead of your voice.

And what about things like the gestures you visually punctuate with and the changes of expression you use? Can the reader see them? Does your body-language tell the reader anything? No.

Bottom line: The problems I mention are the result of you trying to use your schooldays writing skills to write fiction. That can’t work because they're nonfiction skills, given to make you useful to an employer. All professions are acquired IN ADDITION to our schooldays skills, and Fiction-Writing is a profession. There are many writing disciplines, and all are different because of the needs and limitations of the mission and their medium. So writing for the screen is nothing like the approach used for tech-writing, journalism, OR fiction. And in your school days you were taught the techniques of none of them.

Your bio says you like to think of yourself as a innovator, seeking the new path. But unless you know the old path well enough to see where it can be improved, how likely is it that you’re blazing a new path instead of wandering aimlessly?

Like it or not, you, and your potential reader, have been choosing nothing but professionally written stories since you began reading. So you expect to see the result of using skills and craft of the professional in everything you read. And reading fiction no more teaches us how to create it than eating teaches us to cook.

In other words: Head for the local library’s Fiction-Writing section. Time spent there will be time wisely invested. And if you are meant to write you’ll enjoy the learning. If not you’ve learned something important. So it’s win/win. Right? And while you're there look for the names, Dwight Swain, Jack Bickham, or Debra Dixon on the spine of a book on fiction-writing technique.

I’m pretty certain you weren’t hoping for something like this, but since it’s something every writer needs to know…

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/