Better together

Dedicated to Lyndal

Waking up beside you is like owning the first print of my favourite book

Having Sunday brunch of champaign and strawberries

You laughing to my silly tone deaf impression of Ben Harper

And taking our Jack Russell for a walk at the park

We are happy when we're together

We swim and sunbake on the beach by our house

Later watch the glorious sun setting while munching our bacon, lettuce and tomato rolls

'Look at the stars!' You see the universe just looking in my eyes

But the world can be deceiving

Telling us that we must have more...more...all the time

And I listened to the world and left

only now to realise we're better when we're together.

Reviews

[Bud]

I like this. It is simple to a point, yet so meaningful. The world has taken our lives hostage. Demanding more of us away from our loved ones, while allowing for less time with. I know I am happiest with a significant other, when I have a lady to call one. LOL But all the same, the world is deceitful. And more so the people who walk upon it. It is best to keep what you find pleases your soul. Not to let the wickedness of the world dictate your life to you, for it will surely destroy all that is good. Excellent piece!

[Denise Liang]

i know i make u laugh. hahaha

[Denise Liang]

poon pee pee:)

[Odrah]

You can never appreciate what you have fully, it seems, until you've lost it or have been separated from it. In your poetry this realization is very well put and is addressed in such a soft way. I was surprised by the ending because, of course, I thought this was going to be a love poem when I began reading it.

At least the speaker realizes in the end what they've lost. That strikes a sensitive chord with so many of us.

Well done.

[J Carly]

This piece spoke to me on a personal level. It reminded me of something someone once said to me. It filled me with sadness, and yet made me smile. Well done.

[Snuggles McClintock]

funny, this feels like it was written on a rainy day :).

[Obsidian Blackbird McNi..]

i felt that the narrator of the poem really spoke to how i feel when with a woman: completely inept and what the hell do you see in me anyway. oh if they only knew of what lurks beneath the nice human shaped surface....

great poem, this made me feel normal. thanks for sharing

[An owl on the moon]

Your words express a gentle intimacy, as if we're looking into a private moment. There are beautiful reflections and imagery that captures the imagination. Just love this phrase: "You see the universe just looking in my eyes." Wonderful write!

[Arthur Chua]

You seem to like bacon,lettuce & tomato rolls ,having mentioned that before in another of your works haha!
I like this non pretentious direct style of narrative poetry... Personally I've never been big on critique of anyone's work simply because it is from within you. The world has enough violence and disagreement with everyone's big egos...I think that one should at least respect the refuge of another's thoughts and writings and not taint it with personal preferences of how a piece should be written. Who are we to dictate semantics when like almost everything else, it is a borrowed universal jig saw puzzle that each of us unveil in our own personal way. Its like telling a person to eat the bacon first and then the lettuce followed by tomato, whereas someone else prefers to do so in other combinations..All ends up fulfilling the same task ,just from different routes. Thats my analogy about writing : )

[Tate Morgan]

I like it Ill gIve you a 92 iT WAS GOOD.
take a look at a other of mine today .We' keep the reviews going that way .Sounds like yOur world wile different for sure is much more demanding adversaRIAL
your friend tate