I Can't Sleep

A song I wrote about letting go of the things holding you back, the things that may scare you the most...

Look down

At the scars that you've made.

Look up

At this world that you've saved.

You gave me the sun

Took away my pain

Just to turn around

And make it rain.

 

No I don't know

How to help you

This is all so new to me

Tell me something

will I change for you?

well who do you want me to be?

 

I can't sleep

with the ghosts of my pasts still knocking on my door

I can't hear you anymore

No I can't see

through the shadows of the ones I've lost but I've loved before

Where are the ones I'm fighting for?

No I can't sleep.

 

For so long

I've held it all in

now it's time

to let go

of the past.

Now I sit alone

with no one but my mind

dangerous

did it happen too fast?

 

No I can't sleep

with the ghosts of my past still knocking on my door

I can't hear you anymore

No I can't see

through the shadows of the ones that I've lost but I've loved before

Where are the ones I'm fighting for?

No I can't sleep.

 

Now the cages that I keep locked up at night

All those monsters start to put up a fight

If you can't keep them away it's alright

But if I get too scared will you turn on the light?

Turn on the light, yeah...

 

I can't sleep

with the ghosts of my past still knocking on my door

I can't hear you anymore

I can't see

through the shadows of the ones I've lost but I've loved before

where are the ones I'm fighting for?

 

No I can't sleep

with the monster that I thought I slayed still layin' on the floor

can it whisper its lies anymore?

No I can't see

Through the eyes of a blind man screamin' "I've seen this all before!"

where are the people I used to adore?

No I can't sleep.

 

Author's Note

Review please!

Reviews

[Tomislav Petricevic]

I may sound like a detail-b*****d, but I noticed an error - fourth stanza, last line: it should be "too" instead of "to". xD
I like the poem. It's kinda dark and sad, but still powerful, especially because of the repeating stanza. I think that one packed a punch to the poem.
And collaborative work sounds like fun! But writing a good rap isn't easy, so I'm interested in how it will turn out in the end.
Be sure to send me a read request once it's finished!

[A. V. Madison]

Oh Tom darling, you could never even be considered as a b*****d.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Well thank you, Maddie! :D

[Dove]

Great! As soon as I started reading this song I was pulled right in, the flow is really good. Heck I started singing it! The lyrics were very well thought out.

[外人 (Gaiji..]

The flow is amazing, I sang it all from the beginning to the end xD
The theme is not original but very interesting anyway,
great job =D

[WickedPenWielder]

This is great and I can see it as a rap/song I loved it and didn't see any errors that were not previously mentioned. Congrats

[Kitty Robinson]

I like how it rhymes, lol

[Cathy Wattam]

Firstly, great song! Love the lyrics, it's put together well.

Secondly - the errors:-

3rd stanza - "through the shadows of the ones I've but I've loved before" - you've missed the word "lost".

4th stanza - "did it happen to fast?" - should say "too fast".

6th stanza - "But if I get to scared will you turn on the light?" - should say "too scared".

Last stanza - "can it whisper it's lies anymore?" - no apostrophe needed here.

That's it. I enjoyed it, thanks.

[An owl on the moon]

A vivid, powerful song that brought to my mind those haunted days when I slept in vain... no peace to be found. You stir the world within the dark places of the soul... Now looking forward to the addition to your song as well!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. Good flow of thoughts in the poem. Sleep can be interrupted by memories and mistakes. I like the many good examples and the strong ending to the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[deepblue04]

I think that it's good. I really enjoy this piece of work and congradulations on having a rap being put into it. This is a song that I would definantly buy! Good job and keep up the good work

[R.A. Youngblood]

I didn't noticed any grammatic error, so i think it's clean.
Yeah, i really think this could be a good song, specially for that repeating stanzas for the chorus. This is dark, and desperation, emptiness and sadness flows in it.
Thanks for sharing..Keep it up buddy :D