If I
could open you up with a chainsaw I probably wouldn’t but if we
were like mortal enemies and for some reason I had to I would
probably find like rainbows and ponies and Jesus Christ would be like
living inside of you and it would be kind of amazing. It would
inspire me to find a cure for cancer and end world hunger and go on
to win the Nobel Peace Prize which would result in me taking over the
world and everybody would be naked and eat bacon for breakfast lunch
and dinner.
If you
opened my mind there would be a black hole that everything would be
sucked into this land where every fat person has a chair with a
toilet seat built into it so they are comfortable while they pee and
stuff... and the only animals on earth would be elephants, panda
bears, and giraffalopes xD...... and every swimming pool would have a
really really tall diving board and a really short one for weenies
like me.... And ever house in the entire world would have lava lamps
as walls and politics wouldn’t exist and money would grow on trees.
Then,
you'll send a copy of this to me, and I'll post it on my Writers Cafe
account. The I'll send a copy to Dustin (Dustin <3 Wonch) and
he'll post it on his. Then you'll send it to Tom (Tomislav
Petricevic) and he'll post it. Eventually, everyone on Writer's will
have it posted and the magical land in my mind will become reality
and everything will be like the inside of your body and earth would
be the best place ever, which would mean alien zombies would move in
and slowly take over the world. The zombie/alien apocalypse would
begin, and me and everyone I love/can save will come hide out in the
mall with me. We'd block all the entrances with giant candy canes,
which would attract Santa Claus. If Santa tried to get in, we'd beat
him with zombie carcasses we collect. But all the radiation from the
sun would kill off the alien zombies, since they live so far away and
aren't used to it.
But
then, all the radiation from the futuristic alien/zombie technology
would cause the dead to come back to life. It wouldn't be zombism,
though, because they wouldn't be 50% dead 50% alive, it would be more
like 70% alive 30% dead. So then the past presidents see that most of
the world has pretty much been destroyed. They get all mad, and the
whole thing looks kind of like Assassins Creed III, but in my head.
Eventually awesome gamers would show their skills and destroy them
all, and by that time forests had grown in where all the shrapnel and
debris were. The the earth would split open, and all humanity would
fall inside. Then, the continents would slowly smash back together
due to extreme the extreme stress on the earths core because of all
those carcasses. Pangaea would reform and Jesus would recreate the
world.
The
end. Period.
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