Why do I feel this way? Can't make it stop, and part of me doesn't want to try. but i find myself trying harder and harder to write down the truth the facts the rock hard evidence. i just keep writing and keep on dreaming until suddenly *BAM* someone is so insecure that they knock me right off my feet and pull me right back down so hard i feel the glass of my dreaming window shatter along with my spirit and faith.
Takes me a while, but eventually i'm writing again, every little thing. for so long i've unknowingly feared to stop typeing, writing,recording in my book of life, but i am suprisingly unafriad. I take a break to stare out my newly repaired dreaming window and see the clouds and clumps of my thoughts rolling gently across the sky. I hear the distant crackle of lighting and the deep booming of thunder. Brainstorm.
I'm thinking so hard I forget where i am. when i wake up from my day dream, I go back to my papers, my recordings. I try hard to go back to the writing because for so long it's all I've known. but everything I see before me- all the notes, everything I worked on and worked for, I suddenly looked down at that book of my life, or the living, and had a revelation: it was all lies. The person I thought myself to be was really a fake. a fraud. I could only come to one conclusion:
I needed to start a new chapter.