Dangers of the Sea

A creative/descrptive writing thing I had to do for my LA class. Enjoy :)

     Hot, blazing sun beating down hard on my forehead. The sound of the seemingly gentle but terrifying  waves have become hazy and faded. I take the torn-up hat away from my eyes, Little by little, the world reappears in bright, agonizing light. As I try to sit up, I can't help but cry out in pain due to the starvation the last week and a half on the ocean has brought me. I now deepy regret the seemingly harmless "adventure" I embarked on what seemed like months ago, but really only ten days ago did this nightmare begin. I manage to pull myself into a sitting position, noting how red my skin had become. I smack my lips, trying to remember what water tasted like but all I could taste was the salty waves mixed with yesterday's sweat. I realized that I had stopped sweating this morning simply because there was nothing left to sweat. I do a painful, slow survey of the panorma of blue-ish green that was slowly consuming my sanity. I try and take a deep breath but what I kept praying would be fresh air was nothing but dry, salty hot fire in my nose. I take a glance at the sky once my eyes adjust. Not a rescue plane in sight. I realize now that I should have took a longer look, because that may have been my last look at the world. I wanted so badly to drink that cool, soft, resfreshing waterbelow me...but it would be my demise. So I come up with a better plan. I slowly, painfully stood up, mustering all of my strength and will power. With a quick leap, I am deep under the water and welcome into my body what had been my worst fear for the last week. White light confronts me and at first I am afraid. But I realized in that moment that the sea was not my enemy, but my savior.

Author's Note

reviews please :)

Reviews

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Seemingly simple, but quite interesting and captivating, at least for me. I've always liked those descriptive short stories, maybe because I suck at writing them! xD Anyways, good job, Kenzie, keep it up! :D

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Haha! Thanks Bestie :)

[Tomislav Petricevic]

You're welcome. :D

[Abbie]

fantastic imagry! I love it! great job! :D

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks u!

[Abbie]

your welcome! ^_^

[Krista Weiss]

Wow!! Really great story!! :)

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks! :)

[Hester Vane]

Amazing imagery and emotion. A short but enaging piece!

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks for the review :)

[Olivia Marie]

I loved it, it was beautiful, and wonderfully written. I agree with M1@ amazing imagery. I also loved the way you described things, and that each adjective was unique.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you :)

[Simmirose]

this is an excellent piece. the imagery that you created, was vivid, along with the emotions. I love the last line. Great Job :)

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good short story. A complete story of learning and discovery in so few words. I like the way you led the reader to the good ending. Thank you for the excellent story.
Coyote

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks you for the always excellent reviews :)

[kublakhan27]

You've turned some wonderful phrases in this piece. Your storytelling is truly vivid and evocative, so much so that one can almost taste the salt on their lips and feel the rawness of the narrator's burned skin. There's also a touch of mystery with the mention of an "adventure" gone bad. There are a few spelling errors but the story itself, and the vivid language and imagery you've utilized to tell it , is great :)

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you very much!

[kublakhan27]

No problem :)

[3rd Chance]

A provoking piece of work that runs into deep detail to describe, painstakingly, the point-of-view character's prolonged suffering as they wallow upon a stranded isle or somesuch. A dramatic, sorrowful, even touching final statement marks the end of the passage, leaving the demise or final destiny to the reader's interpretation.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you so much for the review

[RachelReaper]

nice turn-around event, very nice. The last line is coolio

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks you! :P