Not The Last

A poem. Simple as that(I wish).

This may be the last poem I write to you.

I wrote this because I felt like it.

Not because I want drama

Not because I crave sympathy

But because I needed to get it off my heart.

 

The pain I feel when I think of you

standing next to some other girl

you say I'm your number f****n one

so why do i feel like this?

 

And I know, I know,

it's my own damn fault.

clingy me

stupid me

I brought it on myself

 

But I'm not one of those girls

I never was, every five seconds:

"Where are you? Are you talking to her?"

That's not me! But when I think of seeing you

Next to another girl, it hurts.

 

I'm too young. I'm too naive.

I'm so damn stupid.

I just want someone there.

But best friends turn into boyfriends

Boyfriends turn into "best friends"

I only want some one to be there.

 

Someone who's going to meet me in the rain

at 2:30 in the morning, listen to me, hug me,

but please don't tell me "everything's going to be ok"

Lies sting more the truths

 

Tears run down my face for no reason

I smile and laugh at nothing at all.

I do believe I'm going insane.

But that is nothing new.

 

My mind is morbid,

That's a fact.

I laugh at deaths.

Gruesome thoughts make me giggle.

I can't help it.

 

This is me. Somethings wrong with it though.

It's not that I'm crazy or disturbing

That I'm insecure and sensitive (on a good day)

but that I chase things that will always out run me.

I reach for things I may never hold.

 

And I'll tell you right now,

This is not that last.

Author's Note

I have no idea but I know exactly why.

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

You vented, sure, but you did it in such a powerful way!
I don't think there's anyone out there, once in a while, who hasn't enjoyed chasing that all elusive someone. It's the thrill of the chase, the excitement of anticipation, etc. Sometimes you catch them...sometimes you don't. Sometimes the one's you catch make you question yourself as to why the hell you were chasing them in the first place!
A heavy heart carries with it way too much weight. You'll find that special 'someone' someday. And it will be when you least expect it, and when you're not even looking at all...

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you for your review, I appreciate it :)

[Celestial Witch Child]

Love love love this. I really like the clarification in the first stanza. Very emotional and realistic piece. Great job.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks so much :)

[Serenity Faith]

Wow...such powerful emotion, and I can completely relate. I hope with this poem you alleviated some of your stress and sadness. I know it helps me sometimes. As always, very well written. ^_^

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you so much! It really makes me happy when people enjoy my writing, especially other amazing writers!

[Serenity Faith]

LOL! You're very welcome, and you totally just made my heart smile, so Thank you ^_^

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

:D Yay for smiling hearts!

[That_Girl]

I can completely relate hun. We all fall for the one person we really shouldn't at one point. Very well said, the emotions are blunt and bold. :) Enjoyed this a lot.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you so much :)

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Oh, my dear Kenzie. I'm so sorry you feel like this.
It's not your fault. You can't blame yourself for developing feelings; no one can. It's perfectly human to want to be loved, especially if you keep seeing people around you experiencing the same. Though I think it's important for you to understand that one rotten apple shouldn't spoil the whole basket - you shouldn't give up the search just because one guy acted like a d****e.
The best thing you can do now is to learn something from the experience, no matter how bad it may seem. Who knows, maybe the knowledge you receive now will help you find a guy in the future. :D
Anyways, I liked this poem a lot. Your emotions kinda develop throughout the whole thing, ultimately reaching that peak where you speak about insanity and other matters. And then they just kinda chill down. I like that contrast.
Keep it up!
P.S. I suppose I should start sharpening my dagger while you bring the goats.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Haha! No Tom, the dagger and goats are not needed this time, for I fear it is my fault. Thank you for all the advice though, and thank you again for the great review!

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Not a problem, bestie! :D

[Tai Ryens]

Fine expressionism indeed. One thing though, I'm just wondering why you start off with "This may be the last" then end with "this is not the last,' I don't quite understand that. Anyhoo, well done.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Well originally, I was suppose to start with all the things that may be the last, and the last half of the poem be all the things that aren't the last, but Ai got waaay off topic :P It still turned out pretty good though, I think.

[Tai Ryens]

You are right, it did turn out good.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks again :)

[Pax]

a bad break-up is really complicated right?
anyways, after writing this hope you feel better.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank for the review

[Krista Weiss]

Really good! :)

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you :)

[♥ Lexii Boo &hea..]

loved this!

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks!

[David the writer]

I don't like reading things like this, but it was great! Good job.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks! Why don't you like reading this type* of thing?
*I really don't know what type of thing it is, I got so off tilopic while writing, but it came together in the end

[David the writer]

It's just "this type" From my understanding it felt like a break-up poem that focused on after the "break-up" I just don't like them. It's to over done.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Oh. Well I suppose it could be about a break up. My situation is...complicated at best. Thank you for reviewing anyway!

[David the writer]

Ur welcome! It's no prob to read a good poem.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

:D you're too kind

[David the writer]

Ha ha ha. You should read on of my poems. Perferbly The Darkest Hour

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Sure!

[David the writer]

Sweetness

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

:)

[David the writer]

:)