Not The Last

A poem. Simple as that(I wish).

This may be the last poem I write to you.

I wrote this because I felt like it.

Not because I want drama

Not because I crave sympathy

But because I needed to get it off my heart.

 

The pain I feel when I think of you

standing next to some other girl

you say I'm your number f****n one

so why do i feel like this?

 

And I know, I know,

it's my own damn fault.

clingy me

stupid me

I brought it on myself

 

But I'm not one of those girls

I never was, every five seconds:

"Where are you? Are you talking to her?"

That's not me! But when I think of seeing you

Next to another girl, it hurts.

 

I'm too young. I'm too naive.

I'm so damn stupid.

I just want someone there.

But best friends turn into boyfriends

Boyfriends turn into "best friends"

I only want some one to be there.

 

Someone who's going to meet me in the rain

at 2:30 in the morning, listen to me, hug me,

but please don't tell me "everything's going to be ok"

Lies sting more the truths

 

Tears run down my face for no reason

I smile and laugh at nothing at all.

I do believe I'm going insane.

But that is nothing new.

 

My mind is morbid,

That's a fact.

I laugh at deaths.

Gruesome thoughts make me giggle.

I can't help it.

 

This is me. Somethings wrong with it though.

It's not that I'm crazy or disturbing

That I'm insecure and sensitive (on a good day)

but that I chase things that will always out run me.

I reach for things I may never hold.

 

And I'll tell you right now,

This is not that last.

Author's Note

I have no idea but I know exactly why.

Reviews

[Dean Kuch®]

You vented, sure, but you did it in such a powerful way!
I don't think there's anyone out there, once in a while, who hasn't enjoyed chasing that all elusive someone. It's the thrill of the chase, the excitement of anticipation, etc. Sometimes you catch them...sometimes you don't. Sometimes the one's you catch make you question yourself as to why the hell you were chasing them in the first place!
A heavy heart carries with it way too much weight. You'll find that special 'someone' someday. And it will be when you least expect it, and when you're not even looking at all...

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you for your review, I appreciate it :)

[Corset]

So many of us want the same thing, usually guys are clueless, to them best friends are football and jockey strap fights, I am a walking proven fact that girls can not be best friends with boys they find attractive, they will fall in love every time and bring the house down on their heads eventually, cause guys want the model fantasy, oh they say not, but they do. Put the same girl in a suit and tie hair in a bun with black rims sit her in a bar and nothing happens, you send her into the restroom, ditch the glasses, the bun, put a short little red number on that hugs all the curves , gloss up that pout and send her back out again, she has a drink in her hand in less than ten minutes. You can't force love, not the real kind, not the kind little girls dream about. What we have to decide is how far do we want to take it. If you are in love with the guy, speak up, but don't agree to be just friends unless you want to STAY just friends cause that is how he will always see you after, like a little sis, once that's implanted it's almost impossible to pry out. I KNOW from experience...if he loves you, he will come for you, if he doesn't you can't convince him how terrific you are if he can't already see it,
if he is interested in a woman he WILL find a way to be with her, sorry for the book.

[MandaBear]

Truly amazing o.O
I see here that all you need someone to be there. me too.

[Simmirose]

Love the raw emotions and the power to how you did it. This is gorgous! keep it up Can't wait to read more! xD

[I Am Svetlana]

We're all alittle insane here and there. And not everything could outrun you, I'm sure you'll catch something or someone important some day. You just have to be patient and wait for it to come to you. You can't always chase after everything. Another thing, you shouldn't call yourself stupid cause I'm sure you aren't. You're not the only girl who's clingy, there are many others. I'm sure you're a wonderful girl and you'll end up with a wonderful individual someday who will accept you truly for who you are. :)

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Well, honey, it looks like you've got the wrong audience, show it to the person you've written it for !

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Haha, if only.

[ALittleBitOfEverything]

Beautiful.
Truly amazing o.O
I see here that all you need someone to be there. You're just like me, hehe. :3
I have a weird perspective on things and look at them differently. But it is who I am, and if no one likes it, so be it. I'd rather be liked for who I am, than for whome I'm not.
And love is...so painful :(
People always say, "God is saving someone good for you" (bearing in mind I don't believe in God) or "He wasn't meant for you." But deep down, you know you felt a spark, a sudden realization.
But then again, it's scary when they go for someone else, someone you thought they'd never would. And it's the truth. Love is blind to people who get it so easily, because it's not really love, its more of a lust, especially to bloody boys.
And truthfully, all girls yearn for the One. :)
Terri-Beth :3

[aisling virginia]

Girl, this is beautiful. I've always admired your poem writing skills. You are such a talented writer. You expressed the emotions in this perfectly. Once again, you are amazing. Keep writing!

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks so much Aisling! :D

[aisling virginia]

yup yup yup!

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

:)

[aisling virginia]

X3

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

:)

[aisling virginia]

;)

[Isabel Sarie]

Two words, Makenzie (can I call you Kenzie?). Ep. Ic. I totally loved this. It's soooo going in my library.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks so much! And of course you can call me Kenzie! :D

[Isabel Sarie]

Yay! *fist-bump* And you can call me Isabel The Great! I'm just kidding, Isabel is okay :3

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Alright! :)

[Kaitlynn A. Black]

A great tumbling ramble of chaotic images and thoughts! I enjoyed all the changes in thought directions throughout the poem. It made for a wonderful experience to read. :)

-Odds & Ends

[RachelReaper]

Jeez, so powerful! I could see the events unfolding in my mind's eye.