UNTITLED 1

I have no idea what to name this. Maybe after I post part 2 I'll have a better idea, but does anyone have any ideas for a name?

Tears won't come out anymore

Well I used to cry over every little thing

So now it takes something big

To make my eyes rain.

 

I slowly realize that I have never

ever told anyone my story before

Not because I didn't want to,

but because I didn't know it yet.

 

I didn't want all that attention on my pain.

It seems pointless when I here all the stories

About abused children and horrid childhoods

My pain gets ignored. And I understand why.

 

But I know it now, that pain that overwhelmes me

That hollowness- the emptiness I now sense.

My story, I am starting to understand

But it's not a pretty one.

 

I am a writer, I write what I feel deep down inside.

That's why my writing is so dark and sad.

No one ever wakes up a realizes that secretly,

deep down inside they were happier then ever.

 

There are so many things going through my head

I can barely get them down on a page

This raw emotion surges through me,

If I can just  get my hands to stop shaking.

 

What if I forget my story? I tell myself I'm waiting for you,

But the cold truth is that I don't have anyone else who understands

To be honest I've never missed you more.

I need you here, I'm ready to talk, but you're so far away...

Author's Note

One of two. This will not be open for editing other then grammar, spelling and punc. This is a very, very sincere poem that I really had to open up to write. Please don't be too harsh.

Reviews

[The Watcher]

This is a really deep poem, but I can sense and understand just how terrible your pain is. Sometimes we poets can only express certain feelings through our writings, but even still, not all of us can comprehend the emotions we experience throughout our lives. You seem to realize why your pain is the way it is, and I believe you have done a superb job in integrating and relaying this experience into your poetry. This is a beautiful poem, and I hope you can rediscover happiness again someday. Good luck, and kudos to you. =)

100/100

[Krista Weiss]

Love this! :)

[Cole Hayley]

I love this. "I am a writer, i write what i feel deep down inside". That sums it up.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you

[Olivia Marie]

I loved reading it. It was deep. I agree with the name suggestion "waiting for happiness" It's beautiful, and you can feel the charge of emotion. Lovely.

[Pax]

i agree to all of the reviews here and also the title one suggested..'waiting for happiness'...may i suggest also ..'being me' .. other than that..i enjoyed reading this.. i feel you pain here its what every poets feels sometimes or most of the time. keep it up.

[That_Girl]

This needs no critiques (content). It is very nice. Only error I saw was "No one ever wakes up a realizes that secretly" 'a' should be 'and' I believe... But very well done. :)

[Serenity Faith]

A title suggestion~ Waiting for Happiness...just an idea of course.
"It seems pointless when I here all these stories" do you mean hear? Other than that I caught no other misspellings. This is very deep, very raw emotion, I'm sorry deep down you're sad. No ones sad story is worse than your own, nor should you belittle your own sadness from those who have suffered differently. Pain is pain, it's something most everyone feels, even if it's in small doses or being drowned it in. Write your stories, darlin. Sometimes it helps let the pain out.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it :)

[J.L.]

It was very interesting, I enjoyed reading it.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks for the kind review

[afra]

oh this one is really nice ..good job

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thank you

[Kala Benfield]

I like the raw emotion that you put in this.

[♪The Girl Next Door♪]

Thanks