Tonight I glanced outside at the moon It reminded me of that night when we were looking up at the stars I pointed to Orion... And you just smiled You smiled because you didn't know You didn't know how desperately I needed someone... Anyone On that dark night in January You didn't know how much I was hurting But you were willing to fix me
it has something touching and evil. I would delete some words, there are a lot of repeatings, and then its like a knife in your hand. A strong piece of poetry, anyways.
I am trying to write my own poetry book... so I need some serious feedback (: All of my poems are about things that have happened to me or people in my life. I hope you guys like my poetry. more..