11:11

Right now it's 11:11

I made a wish

I made a wish to not hide tomorrow

I made a wish to be noticed

I made a wish that I could talk to you

I have been wanting to talk to you since the beginning of the semester...

But my shyness took over my body like a plague

I cannot find a cure to it

I want to talk to you... 

But all I can do now is look at 11:11 and wish

Reviews

[Andrew Rayne]

Good Afternoon,

Well, I can see that this piece is that of a personal nature. Seeing as 11:11 is a time of the most thoughtful of hours, and seeing how it is currently 11:15 here. Fate would have me stumbling upon your poem like a stream meeting a fork in the river. Of course, poetry such as this one splits us in two as well. Leaves us with a cliffhanger of how we sometimes wish the same. To do the same, to feel the same, to have accomplished that which we can only wish for at a time where no one else is up.

Save, for maybe artists. Furthermore and moving on. Your poem was structured fairly well. At first, it seems like you are beginning with bland material. Then I remembered that, this isn't entirely intended for anything other than teenage audiences. The imagery is already put in place at the mention of a semester. School halls, locker chats, passing letters, waving through the crowd. It all comes together as you search the lines for everything that could relate to you.

The best part about this, is that it is genderless. You can not distinguish the angle of which you speak from, and it gives the reader a sense of personal touch that most poems such as this dont render as easily. All in all, good work.

I do believe the diction can be worked on, as well as the structure of the whole. Give it more of a "poetic" melody. The read through, though tasteful to the lips, is uneventful to the eyes and ears. You must find the balance between prose and poetic language. Then you will become great. :)

Have a good day, and I hope this helps. Hope to see more of your work around. Never shy away from asking for another review. Till next time Ms. McGee.

[Nadia B.]

I find it interesting how you are able to show so much hope invested in numbers, a mathematicians dream. You leave so much for the reader to wonder about, only showing them a sliver of a bigger story. Enough to entice, enough to enjoy. Perhaps a little more could be written about 11:11's significance but I really like what you have done, thanks for sharing, please keep writing!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the poetry. My daughter does this. The wishes made at 11:11. I liked the flow of thoughts and the hope in the poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[sereenaoutloud]

this is an adorable, well written write that took me back to my teen yrs in high school and crushing on that guy that i was too shy to speak to . I would look forward to the time of day when we would be in the same class lol
great write Kenzie that so many people will be able to relate too!!

[Jamestown]

Y o l o! I will pray you find your courage:)
I am a numbers guy and have a few made up routines
I do when I see certain numbers appear on the clock, lol:)
I found this piece very cute:) Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[K.M]

Thank you Jamestown!
- Kenzie :)