Portrait of an Online Poet

PORTRAIT OF AN ONLINE POET

            -- for Anastasia

She wore poems around her neck like amulets
to ward off the virtual dangers of cyberspace,

singing colorful songs, stringing them like nets
across the horizon to stop the sun from slipping

into the earth and out of sight, laying  gentle words
like brocade over the unpleasant roughness of the

human condition, hoping to conceal its crueler
surface, while composing exotic music with her

new-age consciousness--trying to fill the empty
spaces which others had left behind in their haste

to show their stuff to the online poetry world--all the
while, playing mind games with abandon, tossing

ribbons of her amused subconscious like confetti
onto the steady parade of poetics that passed like

poorly designed floats across her safely filtered
                        computer screen.

Author's Note

More than a decade ago I was apart of a then popular online poetry forum which involved light/heavy criticism. This poem is about a poet who called herself "Anastasia" who impressed me with her work. Her poems were etheral and quite different than mine. I submitted a poem which was rather hard-hitting and Anastasia
commented about the (supposed) darkness of the poem and told me she needed to write a poem rebuking its attitude. I jokingly wrote back saying something like, "Ahh . . . dueling poems (like the music in the old film "Deliverance.") I later wrote this poem, and it's seen many revisions over the years. My intent was not to malign her, but I found her response somewhat amusing.

Reviews

[Dave Brown]

One of the things I enjoy about poetry is the variety
I am constantly amazed at the unlimited originality and I am inclined to think most criticism is a bit pompous
Your poetic rebuttal is probably not something I would do. I don't like conflict, don't even swear (loudly) at other drivers
If I am criticized on-line I just let it drift, mainly because I couldn't compose such an effective rebuttal

[kentuck14]

Dave,
Couldn't agree with you more. Thanks for your thoughts.
T

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there are many things on-line poets may do ....one is write freely another is criticize as freely as we sit behind our computer screens...i have been on some rough sites, especially one that send many fledgling poets to their poetic doom....they would never write again because of the harshly unnecessary criticism leveled at them, by poets who were much better at being pompous jerks than at writing poetry themselves.
Nurturing each other helps us all get better...constructive criticism is called for, not bashing. We only have each other...many non-poet readers don't have the understanding or savvy to approach our work with enough skill to help us get better....
and dueling poems is an interesting concept...but is poetry a contest? a battlecry?
i think not....i find this poem quite interesting...but try to block out that banjo duet from the movie...
a sad reminder of what happened there.
j.

[kentuck14]

J,
Yes, there are dangers to online forums of criticism . . . done by poets who feel they need to put others down for the sake of there own egos. (this goes on in many ways in this world.) Absolutely . . . nurturing is what is required for poets in a world that does not take poetry serious.
My comment to A was to be a humorous reply . . . don't know if she understood this?
Appreciated what you said . . . "We only have each other." Thanks for commenting.
T

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Through criticism we get to know our mistakes, I guess but the way it could be said sometimes could be to harsh.
And the way everyone sees things are totally different. Everyone has their own point of view on a matter, most especially when it comes to writing. She might have seen the poem in a way that is different from what you intended, that's poem for us. I can't say she was right and I can't say she's wrong, I think she only responded according to her thought and idea, I mean her personal point of view.

Well expressed, Kentuck.

[kentuck14]

Kay,
You are so right about perspective. Thanks for reading and your comments.
T

[Cherrie Palmer]

Writers are a funny lot.
Even when we write fiction our creation is so much a part of us. Sometimes just as soon as we write the words they are released and other times they become a old friend. A friend that cannot be talked mean about.
With that said I do enjoy a good dueling retort.

[kentuck14]

Cherrie,
Thanks for reading and your thoughtful comments.
T

[Crowley]

Its strange on sites that criticism is a part of the reviews without even asking for it. While I think its good, it is still hard to know who and where the criticism is coming from and if you should take it to hart as much as everyone does. When certain things keep getting called out by multiple people or by people you know better and trust then you know its not just a subjective preference. This dueling poem idea is pretty cool, seems like it was more a critique on the mood rather than the writing. So why the hell not writing an opposing piece. i really liked this one, has some stunning lines and a very solid description of what you thought of here as she interacted with you. Really amazing write.

[kentuck14]

C,
I agree . . . . I would prefer face to face criticism with someone I know and someone I trust to be supportive. Yes, I believe you are right . . . it was the mood of the poem she didn't like.
Thanks C for your kind words. All the best.
T

[barleygirl]

When first at the cafe (3 yrs ago) sometimes I read other msgs that literally INCITED me to write a dueling poem in response! I'll never forget one . . . celebrating the joys of being naked (kinda preachy, like everyone could easily find body acceptance) . . . I was so fired up when I wrote what it feels like to be raped for years & hating one's body becuz of it. My reply poems are more tempered now, but I still love that feeling of being fired up to present a different viewpoint. To me, that's the beauty of being part of an online writing forum. Your poem does not feel like a "fired up" response, but one honoring Anastasia's different style (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[kentuck14]

Margie,
Sorry for what you experienced . . . it's totally evil.
Yes . . . I believe I told Anastasia to go ahead . . . but don't remember her doing it. She may have been kidding. Hard to tell in a forum like that.

Yes, people have a right to different viewpoints. We are individuals . . . especially as poets and writers. We write out of our worldviews and personalities, as well as experiences.
Just started to read your book.
T

[barleygirl]

Thank you so much for supporting my writing! (((HUGS)))

[John the Baptist]

Tom, it sounds as though you might have been in contact with Marianne Williamson.

[kentuck14]

John,
Not sure who she is!?

[John the Baptist]

She's running for president.

[kentuck14]

oh, one of the ten thousand!

[Chris Shaw]

You honour Anastasia by writing this poem about her, informing your readers about her special poetic soul. She touched you with her writing even though it was unlike your own, you recognised a special quality in what she had to say and how she expressed herself. I think that is wonderful and sometimes we do make those connections on online poetry forums. In the main I have found them to be very positive places, where I can learn and find inspiration from fellow writers. I applaud what you have written here Tom. All good wishes.

Chris

[kentuck14]

Chris,
Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for understanding my reasons for writing and publishing this poem on our site.
T

[Eilis]

Online sharing has it's ups and downs, but it's great to meet people that surprise us. That's one of my favorite things about online writing. You have a chance to meet people you might never meet in your normal life. And the nature of a forum like what you are talking about means you'll get to know a lot about those people. It changes your perspective. At least that's been true for me.

I have spent time on some critique forums and found the relationships developed there to be very enriching. I feel like that's what you're expressing with Anastasia. Even though you didn't see the world the same, there was something special to be learned there. Cool to read a slice of your poetic history, Tom.

[kentuck14]

yes . . . that online critique site was quite helpful . . . it may have been just opinion, but some had good insight. Too often we become so enamored with our work we become rather myopic.

and yes . . . you hit on my meaning. I did find poets like Anastasia enriching, even though they differed in style and sensitivities from mine.

I have written a long poem on my poetic history called, "Poets, Presidents, and Me" but it's much too long for this site.

Thanks for extensive comments.
T

[Robert Trakofler]

given to past experiences I abstain from writing portraits of live artists save for only a few. I like this person of whom you write and haven't read a lick of her work:) The anonymity that comes from cyber presence allows for a certain level of platitude upon review no doubt and then some really dive into your writes and show you things you didn't see those are my favorites and then some tell you its crap LOL this makes me angry at first but then i see well perhaps they are right:) I say this often when in review someone questions there perspective that there is no wrong in what the reader sees regardless of the authors intent. Like all art (the defines of art in all its forms are more and more blurred as I explore them.) all art is about what the witness sees not necessarily what the creator intends. Seems to me this Anastasia made you and many others see a great deal wish I would of known her and been in your forum back then think I might of learned a few things:)

[kentuck14]

Bunny,
Thanks for your review. I should have mentioned I didn't reply to A's comments by publishing this poem on the site. But her comments amused me and I was inspired to write the poem. Her poems were also a window on her personality, which I liked also. I don't even remember the poem she reviewed . . . long gone from memory.

I would agree . . . the reader has every right to interpret a poem according to their perspective, and every right to not like it. That's okay . . . it's what's done on poetry forums. I see WC as a friendly, supportive writer's group and a way to exchange ideas and cultural comment. All good stuff. I interpret often on this site, while trying to be respectful. But I also know WC is not the place to say: I don't like your poem.
T

[Robert Trakofler]

He he I give you full permission to eviscerate any thing I write:) but I get your point too:/

[kentuck14]

Bunny,
I would be willing to eviscerate . . . but first to look it up in the dictionary!