[untitled]

this ones kind of short. I'd say it is difficult to understand this if you don't know me. what ever just read it and if you want to know what it is about message me....

 

My hypocrite b*****d father

wont you praise me?

Drink a little more

your eyes already hazy bright

 

My mother of anothers son

no mother to me

roof and shelter

bond is missing

never known a mother's call

 

My half a sibling

no relation

wrong me too

proove again

you are her son

 

A Little girl

grown up quickly

broken spirit

 

missed your mother

lost your time

Author's Note

HELP ME WITH A TITLE!

Reviews

[Legion]

Maternal Instinct Be Damned. How is that for a title? I grew up much the same way. I feel for you. Great write though given the topic.

[James Horsley]

It's a good piece, and one of those things that the reader could never appreciate as much as the author. I'm actually diggin' the structure on this; it doesn't flow per se, it actually sort of jumps around. That works really well for this particular work, it makes it feel more authentic, sounds almost like the way you might actually voice this subject aloud.

[Andrew Glass]

Well, well, this is blunt and to the point; I like it. You have a right to be angry and disappointed. The flow seems a little broken, but that almost seems to highlight the essence of the piece. Good work.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is a very unique work!!
A very vivid work!!
You style is very much appealing to the reader...
and the true emotions behind the piece ..its simply awesome...
The way you've described the the condition and state of a broken family and their feelings is really commendable..

But...you can improve with the flow of the poem..!!
Its lacking in some places according to me.
just need a quick polishing!

But..
overall, its an awesome read....
The way you've started it...its really beautiful!!

My favourite lines from the piece
-
""Mother of anothers son

no mother to me

roof and shelter

bond is missing

never known a mother's call



Half a sibling

no relation

wrong me too

proove again

you are her son

""


Beautiful imagination!! and a damn powerful work it is...

Just keep on writing...

Thanks a lot for posting it and sharing it with us...

Overall, its an awesome read..



-Bhavya .. :) .

[Kevin Andros]

A great compostition about a broken family. Somehow you have managed the brittleness of a relationship in your poem too! Your the words of your peice aren't tied to each other, they are free. This is an totally unique style of poetry! And the fact you don't sugarcoat things is just great! Coz this kind of poetry doesn't require you to sugarcoat. Be natural. My favorate lines from the peice:

hypocritic b*****d father

wont you praise me

drink a little more

your eyes already hazy bright



Mother of anothers son

no mother to me

roof and shelter

bond is missing

never known a mother's call


All in all, a superb composition! Keep it up! Thank you for sharing it in here! ~KA~