Alone

She's everything, but nothing to me.

 I don't like the way she walks,
The way she talks,
The way she thinks,
She's okay.
I don't like the way she runs,
The way she gets undone,
When she's in a knot.

The way she laughs at all her jokes,
To make you think she's funny.
But I know what's behind those clothes,
And all that money.

But I'm alone,
Everybody loves her.
I'm gone,
With the wind.
I'm alone.
The way she tries to cover,
Up her blemishes behind her complextion. 
But she's alone.

I don't like the way she moves,
The way she thinks she's in the "groove,"
What ever that means.
I don't need your pain, 
And I want you to know,
That I'm alone.

And I'm alone,
Everybody loves her.
I'm gone,
With the wind.
I'm alone.
The way she tries to cover,
Up her blemishes behind her complextion. 
But she's alone.

And now everybody's gonna see, 
What she means to me.

Now she's alone,
Everybody hates her.
She's gone,
With the wind.
She's alone.
And now I'm feeling sorry.
Just a little bit, because I know,
That I'm alone.

I'm alone.

But she's alone.
Alone

Reviews

[Serend1p1ty]

I read your Bio, before commenting & I get a sense about who you are, so here goes.
This poem is great. It made me laugh when I'm not even in the laughing mood.
It had a streak of happiness, but then the sadness you speak about comes in. I like that.
Keeps things realistic.
Your rhyming is also damn good, "I don't like the way she runs,
The way she gets undone," my favourite line by far!

[Ama May Cooper]

A very contradicting piece. Happy and sad. Inlove but unloved. The echo of lonliness running deep, a wonderful piece and a worth while read

[Kelsey Desmond]

Sorry twilight, but your reviews get to my nerve. i dont care about your stupid contest!

[Twilight]

A nice poem, but not really suitable for my recent Contest. However, it is a very genuine and meaningful piece, which includes some great insights. It looks at the issue of loneliness from different perspectives, and without simply crying out for sympathy.

To a large degree, this poem also tackles the issues of jealousy and obsession with another human being. Towards the very end, even a little guilt is hinted at? Only the writer knows for sure, obviously. Thankyou for submitting this piece in my Contest, Kelsey! Pretty good writing!

[Gheeneil]

I believe that "I' and "she" are the same person. "She" represents the mask, and "I" symbolizes the real person behind it. I like how the story goes and flows. "She", being the center of attention and affection, is playing like a star while "I" is someone who doesn't seem to have a place in the night sky. Thus, "she" overpowers and outshines "I" making it non-existent, so synonymous to being so alone. This could be the reason "I" hated "she", who eventually joined "I" in isolation.

I find this very lyrical. A great write.

[James K. Blaylock]

I rather enjoyed this piece. And I'd love to hear it as a song.


jkb

[Kelsey Desmond]

Ok, this was originally a song, and it sounds awesome as a song, so don't be mad at me if it doesn't flow well.

[deeps]

I really like this, I can feel the emotions really pour out.

[Gregory Hill]

I like it a lot content wise. However, the chorus is a bit choppy and you might want to work on making it fit better:

And I'm alone,
Everybody loves her.
I'm gone,
With the wind.
I'm alone.
The way she tries to cover,
Up her blemishes behind her complextion.
But she's alone.

The second to last line in the chorus is probably the one I have the most problem with. Anyways a little fix up there and it will be great. You have read my poetry and know I suck and couldn't do this good. Good job.