See

You can't....but does that mean I want you to?

Can you hear me?

Maybe if I speak louder.

Or maybe if I speak softer, you'll actually listen.

 

Can you see me?

Maybe if I jump higher.

Or maybe if I sink down lower, you'll actually look.

 

Can you feel me?

Maybe if I come closer.

Or maybe if I run farther, you'll actually reach out.

 

But do I want you to feel me?

To see me, or to hear me.

Maybe I want you to just ignore everything.

 

Because maybe that's better.
If you ignore me.

Because then you can't interfere.

 

But that's just a maybe.

Because I want you to see.

Becasue I love when you see.

 

Because I love you.

And nothing beats love.

Can't you see?

 

Can't you hear or feel or even listen?

Can't you imagine how we could be?

Oh, Baby, can't you see? Me.

Author's Note

OKay, its kinda confusing....right?

Reviews

[Naomi Montana Walsh]

Not totally confusing ,a few spots.. but then a few spots totally perfect , the message is not lost at all..if I would suggest anything it would be to look it over and play around a bit.. til you really feel the meaning comes across..sometimes it is not a matter of removing anything but maybe changing the order.

[purplepenguin9]

I love this. It flows together in a great mesh of senses, hearing, feeling, seeing. "Maybe if I speak louder. Or maybe if I speak softer, you'll actually listen". I struggle with this every day. Its so tempting to make myself shout to be heard, but I want the thrill of having someone take the time to listen to me without having to make myself heard. Brilliant work, I look forward to reading more from you.

[Gregory Hill]

Acctually it's not really confusing, love the poem. I like the sentences about hearing, seeing, and touching and although the last sentence is a bit long, I couldn't figure out how to make any smaller. So good job, in content and in format. Good going, keep it up.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh wow.. great flow and emotion.. not confusing at all.. I live this.. everyday.. I dislike it very much.. I just want someone to feel what I am feeling when I speak sometimes.. sound weird? I relate to this 100%... and getting tired cause I don't think we will ever click that way.. just won't even after 7 years as he is so different from me.. thank you for sharing! =)

[TheGenius]

Ah, unrequited love....
The feeling of wanting that person to notice you, but then holding back out of fear of heartbreak; the sentiment is ubiquitous

[deeps]

Trying to get ones attention is a hard situation. But wanting it stay as well as leave is kind of conusing. You want to love with all your heart but afraid you won't be loved back, well that is how i seen this write. Written well.

[ruth]

i really like this poem, it is well writen,
and its not confusing,
you did very well on describing your feelings.
good job
-ruth

[Cam]

I don't think its confusing so much.
I thought it to be an excellent write.
You described how you felt well.
And how you did want he to see.
Great show of art.