One day, Someday

inspired by someones relationship with someone

One day

One day someone will care

One day someone will cherish 

One day someone will hold

One day someone will smile 

One day someone will be there for me

Someday

Someday your words    won't scar

Someday your shoves  won't bruise 

Someday your looks     won't fright 

Someday your actions won't pain 

Someday your ways     won't count to me

One day, Someday, I will be free.

Author's Note

Review? :-)

Reviews

[Apebble]

Wow! There is a lot of emotion packed into this little poem. I love the contrasts between the someone (relating to positives) and the your (relating to negatives). Congratulations on an excellent poem!

[Mickey]

Wow thank you! I appreciate it :-)

[DaughterNature]

This is really interesting, I can tell it comes from a powerful place. I like the idea, and I think with a little refinement it could be really powerful. I know you want to emphasize the "will" and "won't," but if you format those words the same as the others in the lines, it gives the reader the opportunity to read the emphasis as "will" and "won't" OR as "someone" and "your," which would be another valuable way to read what you wrote. Additionally, while I love your litany style for this poem, some of the words could be stronger: "care," "love," "hold," and "ways" are all good words, but I bet you could find better ones! Good luck!

[Mickey]

Hi! thanks for reviewing! I'm gonna try fixing it up with better words, and to be clear, you think I should not bold the WILL and WONTS but just use one format for all words? But would that emphasize it?

[DaughterNature]

Well, the ultimate piece is always up to you! But yes, my suggestion was that if you format all of the words the same way, it would allow the reader's mind to choose which words get the emphasis. But, if you are dead-set on the emphasis being on those words, then the format can stay as is -- just offering an alternative view :)

[Mickey]

No, I like the one format all better, its less cheesy and it does let the reader make their own emphasis. I switched up some words. thank you for advice!