THE WISE WOMEN FROM THE EAST

A fictional account of the story of the wise men;but this time they are women

Mama Chibuzor was the first to see the strange star. She was splitting firewood when she noted a star twinkling brightly. It was a moonless night, and the other stars were not as bright as this. She shrugged and thought, it was a figment of her imagination. Suddenly, the star started to move.

            She rushed into her husband’s hut to tell him of the strange star. Papa Chibuzor could care less. As his wife jumped about in excitement, his eyes did not leave her bouncing chest. There was a sparkle in his eyes as he winked at her. As she turned to leave, he grabbed her from behind.

            After their bout of sex, Mama Chibuzor got her husband’s blessing to follow the star. She believed the saviour of the world had been born; and the star would lead her to him. She decided not to tell anyone, especially the other women.

            Mama Chibuzor was shocked to find several women from the East, embarking on the same journey. At first no one spoke as they followed the star.

“Hmm, na wa o. I don’t know what an old woman is doing, embarking on this journey”, Mama Chinedu said, speaking to herself, but for all to hear.

“Eh! Who is old? It is your mother that is old. Ewu like you, anomali”, yelled back Lolo Okworocha

“See me see trouble o, did I mention any name. Hmm, guilty conscience will kill some people”, was Mama Chinedu’s defense. The other women joined in, and a huge argument ensued. Everyone chose sides, except Mama Chibuzor.

“Mama Chibuzor, you can’t sit on the fence o. You’re either for or against. Choose one”, cried Nkechi, the new bride.

“Biko, me I don’t want any trouble. Whether old or young, everyone is entitled to go on this journey. Besides, we need each other- the strength of the youth and the wisdom of the elders”, Mama Chibuzor, cut in. Everyone seemed to agree, but still held unto their reservations. There was some quiet.

            Close to Bethlehem, the women decided to eat, as they had been traveling for hours. Another fight ensued.

“How come you are serving yourself the biggest meat in the pot?” queried Ngozi

“Am I not older than you?” blurted out Nkechi

“Because you took a day from me, suddenly you re older”, challenged Ngozi

“Look here you grasshopper leg, I am married. That makes me your senior”, Nkechi stated

“Ehen, because a blind man married you by mistake, you want to claim seniority. You are not serious. You better divide that meat now”, Ngozi said, reaching for Nkechi’s plate.

            While the young girls had a cat fight, scratching at each others’ face; an argument ensued among another group.

“Nne, where is the meat in the soup?”, Mama Obiageli shouted

“Heh, it’s like I ate it by mistake o, don’t be annoyed. It must have got into my akpu morsel”, explained Mama Obinna, chewing on the meat without regret.

“And you’re still eating it?”, asked Mama Obiageli, visibly livid. Mama Obinna made to remove the chewed meat from her mouth, as she said, “You want to eat what is in my mouth ni!”

“Don’t bring that thing out of your mouth o, I’m warning you”, Mama Obiageli said, pointing her finger.

            Another group was praying before they ate. The prayer leader’s mouth was busy as she prayed. By the time they sad the final “Amen”, the plate was half empty.

“Who ate this thing?”, asked a surprised Mama Ndubisi

“It must have been that an angel came into our midst”, offered the prayer leader

“Tai, what kind of stupid talk is that? I will swear for the person who did this, if the person does not talk”, Mama Emeka rose up in anger.

“Don’t swear o. You know it’s against the scripture”, said the prayer leader. They argued on the biblical opinion on swearing.

            “How can you take fish before you finish your food, eh Ekaete”, asked a mother

“Mama, I am young and I need protein more than you”, explained Ekaete

“Foolish girl, when it is food, she will talk science. If it’s work now, she can’t do anything”, Ekaete’s mother accused

“But mama…”

“Will you keep quiet and drop that fish!”

            When the women got to Bethlehem, Sister Nkiru Oyiegbu decided to play the leader. “I suggest when we meet him, we first sing and dance before any other thing”

“Nonsense, who made you our leader?”, asked Mama Obiageli

“I’m just…”, Sister Nkiru was cut short

“It’s true, who made you our leader? Besides, why can’t we just present our gifts first”, argued Nkechi

“No, we will baff the child first”, suggested Lolo Okworocha

“Mbanu, we will feed his mother first, so she can have enough breast milk”, suggested another. The suggestions came flying in.

            It was Ngozi that noticed the star had disappeared. “You see yourself now, the star has gone. When all of you will be shouting. If it were men now, all this won’t happen”. Ngozi became the target of abuse.

            Sister Nkiru decided they went to the king to make enquiry. “No. You are the one that made the star go, so you have lost your right to make any suggestion”, started Lolo Okworocha

“So, what do you suggest, Lolo? Seeing you are the oldest among us”, asked Ngozi

“Let us go to the king to make an enquiry”, was the old woman’s reply.

‘You think’, thought Sister Nkiru.

            King Herod was confused to see the women. “Igwe Herod, we greet”

“I greet you back. What brings you all to my palace?”, he asked

“We have followed a star from the East. The star is that of a new born king that will rule the world”, started Lolo Okworocha.

“Meaning say, im go overthrow you”, Ngozi added

“Yes, your kingship has almost expired o”, Nkechi buttressed.

King Herod was too shocked at their utterances to get angry.

“Are you sure of what you are saying?”, King Herod pressed.

“Ah, ah, Igwe Herod, even though we are women, you think we don’t have other things to do”, Lolo Okworocha replied cynically.

“You see all this crowd and you think it is April fool. Of course we know what we are saying”, Sister Nkiru said, in her high pitched voice.

“Get away you, is it not you that let the star disappear”, accused Ngozi.

All the women started talking at the same time. King Herod knew if he didn’t discharge these women, he’ll die of headache before the coup.

            “Eh, my good women”, King Herod raised his voice, with his hands in the air

“Ehm”, the women chorused.

“Go and find the new born king. When you find him, come back to me so that I too can come and worship him”, the king charged.

“Mbanu”, “For where”, rent the air. The women were going rowdy again.

“Nne, maka why now?”, he asked

“You must drop something. Se we’ll just go and come back like that?”, asked Lolo Okworocha.

            Outside the palace, Mama Chibuzor sighted the star. The women rejoiced and followed the star. When the star stopped over a manger, an argument ensued.

            “Ah,ah, what kind of joke is this?”, some of the women started

“Nne, are we sure this is not the wrong star?”, asked the one

“How can? Heh, king of the world; born here. Hiah”, said the other.

“His parents must be very poor o, they can’t even go to one of the hospitals, na wa o”

All the while, Ngozi was trying to look beautiful. It would be nice to be the queen of the world.

            When they got into the manger, they saw the radiance of God. Sister Nkiru Onyiegbu was in her elements. In her thick igbo accent and high pitched voice, she said, “Praaaise the Lord”

“Halleluyah”, the women chorused

“Praaise baby Jesus”

“Halleluyah”

Ibu Chineke e e”

“Eh e e”.

“Bread-thren, we have to war-ship, because he deserf it”. Sister Nkiru was lost in the worship.

            The women presented their gifts, and added Ugwu, fruits and a spare blanket. They were full of advice for Mary. “Mary, eat well o, so you an feed this baby properly”, started Mama Chibuzor

“Hiah, even look at your breasts. It’s not full enough”, added Lolo Okworocha.

“Feed this baby well o. He must not be thin o”, Mama Emeka said, holding her nose.

“This place is not hygienic for this baby now, eh can’t Joesef afford a room”, accused  Ngozi.

“Thank you all. We have heard you and we appreciate you all. Joseph tried to get a room, but it was difficult”, Mary appreciated and explained.

            Some of the women went to Joseph to lobby. All of them either had daughters or hoped to have one soon. It would be a good union, if the baby Jesus could marry into their family.

“Well, we’ll see. Let the child grow up first”, Joseph tried to explain

“Joe, me I am ready to marry o”, Ngozi offered

“Kai, he doesn’t need to marry his grandmother now”, laughed the group.

            The women took turns to carry the baby. This made Jesus cry a lot. A fight even started when Mama Obiageli was accused of holding the baby too long. “Leaf the pikin now, wetin sef”, yelled Mama Ekaete, who felt it was her turn.

            Later that night, the angel Gabriel appeared to the women and warned them against going back to Herod.

            Before first light, the women set out for home. Lolo Okworocha made sure she bathed the baby. As she sang what she thought was a lullaby, Jesus wailed; a lot.

“Mama leaf the pikin now, the boy no wan baff. Na by force”, said Mama Chinedu, who had been a torn in the old woman’s flesh, since the journey started.

“I don’t need to talk to you, you are only jearous of me. Jearousy, jearousy na im dey worry dem”.

            Mary heaved a sigh of relief when the women left. Joseph was glad to see them go. Even baby Jesus was all smiles, when Sister Nkiru sang their farewell song.

            “Bi banke, bo mi ba shan ro

            Fi mi si lee

            If I am crying

            And the rain is falling

            Leave me alone…”

Asa, who happened to pass by, fainted at the rendition of the song.

            On the way back to their homes, the women discussed in groups. “Hmm, na wa for that Joesef sef, common clinic he can’t carry his wife”, started Mama Chinedu

“See him. He must be very poor. He was even smelling sef”, added Mama Emeka

“Haba, it was because we were in the manger o. It’s the place that was smelling, not Joesef o”, defended Mama Chibuzor

            “Hmm, didn’t you notice that the baby didn’t resemble Joesef in anyway”, began Lolo Okworocha

“Is true o”, agreed Mama Obinna

“Ah, you didn’t hear ni. They say, she is a virgin”, said Ngozi

“Virgin ko, harlot ni. They better tell us the truth”, Nkechi mocked

“How can a virgin get pregnant?”, asked Mama Obinna

“Ask me o. The yeye gal has gone to play away match somewhere”, said Lolo Okworocha

“Hiah, Chineeke. If Joesef was my son, lailai to lailai will he marry that Mary o. Eh, raise another man’s child. Tofiakwa. God forbid”, Mama Obinna confessed.

            “Look, she was conceived of the Holy Ghost”, argued Mama Chizubor

“See this one o. Mama Chibuzor, that is my problem with you, eh; you believe too much. Is the Holy Ghost a man, answer now”, asked Nkechi

“Abi Holy Ghost dey do night duty again?”, Ngozi asked, in mock fascination

“Only God will deliver all of you”, Mama Chibuzor resigned

“Come to think of it o, maybe Joesef can not ‘do’ so he got someone else to ‘do’ for him”, Mama Chinedu thought aloud.

            Up in the clouds, God summoned all the angels. “Who among you showed the star to women”. No one replied. ”We will reverse everything; and this time we are showing wise men”. The angels nodded in agreement. At least, men don’t ask too many questions; or try to label everything