His Other Slipper

They cannot use that without its pair.

I did remember hearing this story,

When I was a child, when I believed in fairy,

About a young boy who walked by the sea,

And how his slippers touched the hearts of many.

He was with his uncle, one sunny day.

They conversed as they took the way.

The boy suddenly lost his one slipper and said,

"Oh, Uncle! My slipper was taken by the wave that drifted."

"Oh boy, we could swim in there to get it,"

Said his uncle who was then worried.

"But my slipper have gone far already,"

Replied the boy who seemed to be filled with curiosity.

He leaned down to get his other slipper.

He stood up and threw it to the sea.

"Oh precious boy, why did you throw your slipper,

Now I would have to get the two, you see?"

"No, Uncle. You need not swim and gather those.

I threw it so that a fisherman would find the pair,

And he could still bring those home for his son to use.

We didn't know, his son maybe running with his feet bare."

Author's Note

Review and rate, please. Thank you! :)

Reviews

[not here]

Hi Lunette. 'His Other Slipper' sounds like a lovely folk tale, and I admire your sensitivities in relating the story.
I did happen to struggle with the rhyme scheme, though. It seems confused. As with the rhythm overall. Would you consider making this a non-rhyming piece, perhaps? (incidentally, I did like the subtle rhyme of fairy and many in the first stanza)
I wonder if this would be greater as a free verse poem...
Thanks for sharing, and asking my thoughts - for what they're worth. :-)

[Lunette Lariz]

Thanks. ^_^

[Tai Ryens]

Rhythm is off-beat here and there, but not so much in a way that the whole poem is derailed. Grammar issues are at an abundance here, such as in the third stanza where it should be 'Has' instead of 'Have.' I'll leave the others for you to discover, after all every writer should be able to decipher an error when they see them.
As for the tale, lovely. It wouldn't be my all-time favorite, but it IS one of the better ones I've seen. All it needs is a bit of improving presentation wise. Other than that, well done, just work on portraying yourself better.

[Lunette Lariz]

K thanks. :)

[Dayran]

A poem that depicts faith and love in its impossible natures as in the possibility of two slippers finding each other in an ocean for a fisherman's son. But to ponder at a point of losing our most precious possession of the needs of others is a highly special and loving nature that is truly possible.

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you for the delicate words you've imparted to me. :)

[Meallea Pomorette]

There's bit struggling with the rhyming... But still, it's nothing to worry about...
Whether it's free verse or not I still get the story which I heard over a hundred times before...
And thank you 'cause you make me remember that I need to prepare for the long quiz which is about the kid in this story (T_T) ...

"I threw it so that a fisherman would find the pair,
And he could still bring those home for his son to use."
Children are innocent and pure... Please let's keep them that way... But apparently, it's impossible nowadays... People with that kind of thinking is rare..

"his son maybe running with his feet bare."
Symbolism for poverty... And many children are running with their feet bare..

thumbs up...
(^_^)

[Lunette Lariz]

My golly, you must study about him, Meallea! :P xD HAHAHA. :)
Yeah, thank youuuuuu. =)))))

[Meallea Pomorette]

Laziness attacks...

[Lunette Lariz]

Yea, I'm not done yet with my poem for the grad hymn, my golly! -___-

[Meallea Pomorette]

not yet doing anything...

[Lunette Lariz]

You? Not yet doing anything? How could it be? MVP, iz that yuuu? O.o

[Meallea Pomorette]

Yes...
It's me....
(^_^)

[Muhammad Ibraheem]

heart touching one.
giving is idea of humanity in the children :)

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you!! :)

[Muhammad Ibraheem]

:)

[ms. barrie]

very endearing poem, faith in humanity seen through the eyes of a loving, gracious child, wise beyond his years. very well written and inspiring. thanks for sharing ;)

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you! :)

[ms. barrie]

you welcome :)

[Kelsey]

I really love the ending of this, very sweet and, as previously stated, touching. A nice little poem that gives you hope in humanity, something we lack reason to have anymore. Nicely done. x

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank goodness it touched you! :‘)

[David Scott]

I loved this. My gut response was bravo! We hold on to nothing and deprive the world of blessing. Well penned and even better thought.

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you, David! :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

Beautiful message in this well crafted poem. I love the idea of letting the sea have both slippers for a fisherman's son. Such a lovely tale of selflessness.

[Lunette Lariz]

Yes, indeed, the idea is wonderful. This story actually happened in the childhood of the Philippines‘ National Hero, Dr. Jose Rizal. Even in his childest days, he showed cleverness. Thank you for the review! :)

[Blue Ivory]

Wow this is truly touching! Nice work! I'm amazed...

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you! :)

[DrD]

Lessons in humanity locked in poetic form is always appealing and you have mastered this beautifully. I truly enjoyed reading this and will be retruning soon to view some of your other works.

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you so much, Sir! ^_^