His Other Slipper

His Other Slipper

A Poem by Lunette Lariz
"

They cannot use that without its pair.

"
I did remember hearing this story,
When I was a child, when I believed in fairy,
About a young boy who walked by the sea,
And how his slippers touched the hearts of many.

He was with his uncle, one sunny day.
They conversed as they took the way.
The boy suddenly lost his one slipper and said,
"Oh, Uncle! My slipper was taken by the wave that drifted."

"Oh boy, we could swim in there to get it,"
Said his uncle who was then worried.
"But my slipper have gone far already,"
Replied the boy who seemed to be filled with curiosity.

He leaned down to get his other slipper.
He stood up and threw it to the sea.
"Oh precious boy, why did you throw your slipper,
Now I would have to get the two, you see?"

"No, Uncle. You need not swim and gather those.
I threw it so that a fisherman would find the pair,
And he could still bring those home for his son to use.
We didn't know, his son maybe running with his feet bare."

© 2012 Lunette Lariz


Author's Note

Lunette Lariz
Review and rate, please. Thank you! :)

My Review

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Featured Review

Hi Lunette. 'His Other Slipper' sounds like a lovely folk tale, and I admire your sensitivities in relating the story.
I did happen to struggle with the rhyme scheme, though. It seems confused. As with the rhythm overall. Would you consider making this a non-rhyming piece, perhaps? (incidentally, I did like the subtle rhyme of fairy and many in the first stanza)
I wonder if this would be greater as a free verse poem...
Thanks for sharing, and asking my thoughts - for what they're worth. :-)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks. ^_^



Reviews

what a nice little story/poem---very lovely :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

thanks! :)
Very nice I really enjoyed :}

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks. :)
I really like the story that this poem tells. The ending is really sweet, and overall, I really like this poem. thanks for asking me to read this, I believe that it has a really sweet message. Beautiful job with this(:

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks you liked it! ;D
Amandaaa Caroline (:

12 Years Ago

No problem, and yes I did, thanks for asking me to read it(:
Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

:)
This is a Brilliant Piece, Jovial and epic. Wonderful

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thank yow! :)
Jordan's Back

12 Years Ago

Always
Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

:)
A little philanthropist indeed i love it

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks. ^_^
I love this. The whole thing is amazingly written, and the story is beautiful!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Oh thanks!
I liked it. I pictured a children's picture book as I read it. Thanks for the post.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Sure, thanks. :)
Beautiful....:)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks. :)
A timely message all should heed. Nicely penned.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks. :)
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oxo
i have heard a story like this one, but yours is in the form of poetry. at first, i thought it would go smooth with the rhyming but got it all mixed up. still, it's a nice story. maybe you could do some repair... :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lunette Lariz

12 Years Ago

Thanks. :)

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1094 Views
32 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 16, 2012
Last Updated on November 17, 2012
Tags: Childhood, Slipper, Sea, Story

Author

Lunette Lariz
Lunette Lariz

Manila , Philippines



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