She haven't seen a mirror since she could ever remember...
In the vintage and classic city of Prague, there lived a girl called Lunette. She was once a daughter of a wealthy merchant and a beautiful schoolmistress. The couple were happily wed and they wished for a daughter, a daughter who will be as rich and kindhearted as her father, and as wise and beautiful as her mother. The heavens granted their wish. However, the supposedly blessed day of their lives became a tragedy. After giving birth to a beautiful baby, the wife died due to difficulty in delivering. The husband, on the other hand, had a heartbreak after knowing about the incident. His depression was so much that he even forgot about his daughter; he really loved his wife. Consequently, he died. But before losing his breath, he called his brother and asked him if he could take care of Lunette. They named her Lunette, a variation of Luna, which means moon. The couple loved looking at the moon when they were still alive. His brother, Brandon, agreed for it was his swan song.
Uncle Brandon raised Lunette, yes, he raised her to be a full-grown 15 year-old but never took "care" of her. Uncle Brandon is cruel, if that is the most suitable word for getting a filthy separate table in which she will eat, for lending her old clothes that were way too small for her, for asking her to be the gardener as she is a green thumb, for calling her ugly, for depriving her freedom because she isn't allowed to go outside except when asked to, for treating her as an underdog, and for not letting her use a mirror. Uncle Brandon has a daughter, Elizabetha who has the same age as Lunette and whom he pampered while still young. She always dress to kill and buys garments and jewelry that cost an arm and a leg. Elizabetha's mother also died, yet she still has her father who thinks that she is the most beautiful lady in the city and with that, he hopes that one day, she will marry the wealthiest man in Prague, William de Moore. This hope is the reason why Uncle Brandon calls Lunette ugly and why he never lend her even a single mirror. Every passing day of Lunette's life, her Uncle Brandon and cousin Elizabetha tease her, discriminate her, and call her ugly as if she was a black sheep. But Lunette was not one, she was kind, innocent, and uniquely beautiful like her father and her mother.
When she went to the market to buy some goods, she saw the ordinary scene of the outdoors. All of the people she encounters always took a time to stare at her, she began thinking, "Yes I know. I am ugly. Don't keep reminding me." Her thoughts were blown away when she bumped into a man who appeared out of the blue.
"Oh! I am so sorry, Madame," said the man staring straight into Lunette's eyes. "Pardon me, Madame, but, could I know your name?" "My name? We-well, I am Lunette," she stammered. She was surprised to be asked by such a handsome man. How would anyone act as if wanting to know her when she was ugly like what Elizabetha and Uncle Brandon said?
"Do you know that you are beautiful, Lunette?" the man asked. "Me? Ho-how would I be? I mean, I mean, I-I can never be beautiful. That will happen when pigs fly," she replied with a tiny laugh. "What are you talking about? You're talking as if you haven't seen a mirror!" he stressed. "Actually, I haven't," Lunette said with a frown. "Why?" the man inquired.
Lunette then retold the story of her life to the man, who later she found out to be the William de Moore her Uncle Brandon was talking about. How playful the destiny was!
"Lunette, do you notice people looking at you when you walk in here? They stare at you, because you are beautiful. You are, by far, the most beautiful I have ever seen here in Prague. You are their apple of the eye," he finished with a sigh and then he lend Lunette a round thing with a handle. He lend her the thing she wasn't able to hold onto in her whole life, until now. "Look at you," William said, directing her to look at her own reflection. She looked at her own image, first terrified, then calm, and then she finally smiled. "But they said I was ugly," she said. "Well maybe they don't find you beautiful. But don't worry, 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'," he advised. "But they don't allow me to use a mirror. It means that they don't want me to see my face, to see that I am-I- I am... beautiful," she shyly said. "Yes, Lunette, they don't want you to see that you yourself is beautiful. Your cousin insists that she's more beautiful than the most beautiful girl in the city which is you. Lunette, always remember that 'The real beauty is in the heart'," he informed her with a grin. "Oh, and I want to converse with your uncle and cousin. I want them to realize how beautiful you are," William proposed. "No! No, they won't like it. I understood now. I understood all of it. There is no need to tell them. I mean, they are just fooling themselves. Making them realize will just make them worse," Lunette contradicted. "Okay, I guess let us just cross the bridge when we come to it," he again grinned at her. She smiled all the same.
Lunette is a very good name. The parent loved the moon and gave reason and purpose for the name and the very good tale. I like the good description and the logical ending. Better to keep the same till a escape is possible. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote
Lunette is a very good name. The parent loved the moon and gave reason and purpose for the name and the very good tale. I like the good description and the logical ending. Better to keep the same till a escape is possible. A very good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote
I really agree that it sounds like Cinderella...
Now how did you squeeze such "lengthy" poem in a one-half crosswise???
But I'll like it better if you do it by chapters..
Because through it you could still develop the characters...
It's just a suggestion and I know we're "busy" for senior year...
Nice write...
very endearing story. great dialogue and flow. i loved the concept, very insightful, jealousy is indeed a disease, infecting all, mostly the one who is jealous. thanks for sharing :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Thank you so much! ^_^
12 Years Ago
you welcome, it is a great story line. keep writing!
Wonderful story, dialogue flowed together, which made me feel that the characters were actually talking to each other not just standing on opposite ends of the room.
I did find a couple of issues that I believe needs to be addressed; in the second paragraph you jumped to present time, then when you wrote the third paragraph you jumped back to the past tense. I noticed a couple of words that were misspelled which conveys to the reader a different meaning in the content of the sentence. Please be aware these issues that I have pointed out and you will have a winning story every time.
To be unmindful of one's beauty is to lose a mirror. It often produces a gentle honesty in a person that can grow into a great virtue. Something that gives strength to what we do. Well done Lunette! Keep it up.
I can imagine me telling this very same story to my future daughter every night . . . And if I'm unlucky enough not to be blessed with one, I shall adopt. Hehe. Also, Lunette, by golly what a beautiful name. I already loved it from the start. Well done.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Awww, Tai. :'') Thank you so much. :) So.. you loved my name, huh. Hahaha! Thanks again! :D
Mabuhay! Hello, fellow. Glad you came to visit my profile. :)
My name is rather unique. You can never find it in any dictionary. Meaning, when you try to type it in, for example, MS Word, you'll se.. more..