Home, Sweet Home

On a very rainy night, only shivers embrace him.

The lightning drew a zigzag on the sky,

He covered his ears and began to sigh.

The thunder went rumbling through,

It will be raining, those were the clue.

And soon, a raindrop touched his cheek,

Washing off the dirt that stayed for more than a week.

His face pronounced a frown as bleak as the night,

As the rain came dripping into his sight.

He hurriedly ran from where he seated,

Placed his hands on top of his head,

Suddenly he stumbled upon a solid rock,

And his knees bled but he needed to go back.

He forgot his plastic bag, his only company.

There lie the cans and bottles he'll use to earn money,

He needed to get them before someone else does,

Since they were all that he has.

He felt his knees hurt from the stumble,

He saw it bleed, he felt feeble.

Luck teased him again; he found no shelter.

So he just put a carton on his head and sat on a corner.

How chilly the night was, he felt his jaws shake! 

His stomach was filled with hunger; his wound ached.

His clothes were now wet and the darkness made him feel gloomy,

He needed a home and family, yet his destiny was miserable as he.

Author's Note

What do you think of it?

Reviews

[Blue Ivory]

You might want to say "That was the clue" in the 4th line. And "his knees bled'* :)
There are a few other grammatical errors.
Anyway, this poem is deep and it's beautiful! Just fix the errors and you're good to go. I really like the way you told the story of a homeless guy. We cross them, but it doesn't strike us like it struck you so good work!

[Lunette Lariz]

Okay, okay. I'll check on those. Thank you. :)

[Jo March]

Very emotive, lovely imagery you've presented.

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you. :)

[Sid]

A poignant piece, I like the description in this poem, I could actually see him in his predicament and well like Hamza said this kind of a scene is present in India which is sad but is still a part of our reality. Great write Lunette, this is very well written!

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you so much! :)

[dunnia]

I love the scene this brings in mind when reading...very touching

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you! :))

[dunnia]

your welcome :)

[WingsToFly]

Nice poem, nicely expressed imagery. :)

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank youu! :)

[Hamza]

it was touching ...
here in India, we have witnessed such things in slums.. children without food and shelter.. :(
the heart aches for such people but nobody does anything about it ...
this is so saddening ... and very deeply depicted in you write ... loved it

[Lunette Lariz]

Thank you so much, Hamza! :)
We likewise have that kind of scenes here in our country, so I was inspired to write about it.