The Lord of R*pe

TW: Mature themes about sexual assault

You are not welcome in this home

My body is not for demons to dwell

This holy temple has been set ablaze

Blood on the shrine

A ghost that has possessed mind, body, and soul

The priests are no longer here to exorcise 

You corrupted their souls

Slit their throats

A goddess is now trapped in her own desecration

A harrowing reminder

Of what was once hers

Now belongs to you

The Lord of Rape

2022

k.d.s

Reviews

[Ken e Bujold]

the anger to this poem is palpable. In its defiance I read a survivor. the pain is obvious, and from it reads a remarkable work of art.
Ken

[Chris]

Some readers want a little, some a lot. Some demand "clarity" as a start, others accept opaqueness 'til the author decides otherwise. I accept the author's word choice and look between the lines AND thoughts . The reality of this world hurts. I do think the prevalence of this pain is much more than most think.'

[JayG]

• You are not welcome in this home

I'm not? But... why?

You forget that only you have a clue of what you're writing about. At this point the reader doesn't know your gender, age, situation, or, what made you want to write those words. The reader needs context as, or before they read each line. As far as the reader knows, you just told THEM that they can't enter an unknown house in an unknown location, for unspecified reasons. Missing information isn't a mystery unless you've given the reader reason to want to know it. If not, it's just a reason to turn away.

Sure, when you read those words they make perfect sense, and are filled with emotion for this unknown person you're talking to. But only for you.

• My body is not for demons to dwell

Nor is mine. Whose is? But...what's a demon? You have a meaning in your mind as you read. But again, only you.

See how greatly your perception of the word-meaning diverges from that of a reader? That's why we must edit from the seat of the reader, not our own.

When you read the words it's you speaking, about events meaningful to you. So it works. But who among our members woke this morning wondering what was going on in our life? No one. No one is hoping to be better informed on how the writer's day went. Your reader comes to your work for an emotional experience, not an informational one.

So, talking TO the reader about things meaningful to you is a waste of time. The work must be made emotionally meaningful to the reader—something our schooling didn't prepare us for doing. There, they were readying us for the needs of employment, And who but greeting card companies want us writing poetry on the job?

So forget talking to the reader. Focus on making them feel and care, not know. Don't tell them you cried, give the reader reason to weep. Don't say that such and such a person is bad, make the reader shout, "That b*****d!"

Have your computer read your work to you, to better hear what the reader does. And dig into the tricks of the poet. The field has been under refinement and development for centuries. Make use of that. Climb onto the structure built by those who have gone before, and build on it.

There's so much to poetry that's obvious once pointed out, but invisible till it is. Take a small thing like why we choose to use the word "rock" instead of "stone" or vise-versa. Once clarified, you'll say, "That makes perfect sense...how could I not have seen it, myself?" And while there is quite a bit to it, learning something you want to do is never a chore. And, the act of writing poetry becomes more fun when you have so many more options.

So first, download a copy of Mary Oliver's, A Poetry Handbook from the address below. You'll be as amazed as I was.
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596


You might also want to browse the Shmoop site. Log in as Student, then use the button next to the midpage search window to select Poetry. They have lots of great poetry there, analyzed in great depth, to show how and why it works so well.

And if rhyming poetry holds any interest, you MUST read the excerpt from Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon. What he has to say about the flow of words should be required reading for all writers.

So...I know you were hoping for a more pleasant response. I also know how something like this can sting. But still, since we'll not address the problem we don't see as being one, I thought you might want to know.

Hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/