The Eternal Trial.

a five minuet playlet set after the suicide of a philosopher.

It's cold and dark, the wind is howling. It's raining sideways. Squatting in the lee of some rocks - the boy knows that if he stands up he'll die of exposure. It's tempting. Instead he fastens his jacket around his knees. Time has no meaning. A strange city becomes familiar. A prison cell. A flat. Looking back from, and forward to experiences from his life. He is alone; wherever he is - it doesn't matter. The first time he ran away he was six years old. The last time was the day he died. His 50th birthday. A syringe containing a massive overdose of opiates.
'If I broke your heart trying to save your life, I'm sorry,' he says, and falls from the deck of a ship. He is as cold and indifferent as the ocean. He has no body. His being looks into endless grey nothingness. A voice shakes the ether.
'Guilty,' it booms.
'Guilty?' he wonders aloud. Another voice answers, the voice of a masked figure that steps from the gloom.
'Guilty is the only possible verdict. This trial is merely to decide the charges.' The figure's officious manner barely disguises glee.
'An afterlife? Oh dear me, no! I'd rather not exist.'
'You exist. That's a fact in this trial.'
'The verdict of which is that I'm guilty...of charges yet to be established?'
'Correct.'
'Of charges that follow from the facts...of my life?'
'Correct again.'
'It's unjust...for as I've said, I would rather not exist. If I did not exist - I would not have incurred charges.'
'You do not want to exist...anymore!. You took your own life. That is also a fact in this case. The prosecution will prove that you have wanted to exist.'
'But it's not that simple. It was the desire to exist, in knowledge that my species is doomed...I couldn't live with.'
'Irrelevent. My Lord?'
'Sustained.' The voice boomed from on high.
'You're saying it doesn't matter my species is doomed to die because there's a Heaven above! I have to admit I was told - but I cannot be guilty of trusting in the evidence of the senses - in reason, logic and demonstrable scientific truth over what seemed to me to be the scribblings of our dim distant ancestors. So let me get this right; you went around the world at the dawn of time, or at least in the morning of mind - with different faces telling different stories to different groups of people - and then retreated beyond the veil and left us to it. I am not guilty.'
'The prosecution will prove that you forwent opportunities to make a difference. The verdict is inescapable.'
'I acted upon knowledge within reason from my conscience. I found the answer. I explained it and left that explanation behind for all to see. I could not have done more.'
'Your explanation is a sin. It's blasphemous, heretical and dangerous.'
'What is the danger? Humankind is in any case doomed as a consequence of acting in the course of ideas you gave him - at best his misunderstanding of some ancient ideal, at worst a deliberate lie meant to pevert the calculus of his reason to dictate his actions. He continues unto his doom in the course of misunderstandings you don't deign to correct. Is man not biologically predisposed by evolution in relation to a causal reality to search for valid understanding? Man was meant to accept a scientific understanding of reality in common. You confused him.'
'It is not your destiny.'
'That doesn't answer the question. Is man not biologically pre-disposed to seek truth? Is there, or is there not a relationship between the validity of the knowledge bases of his actions and the validity of the effects of such action within a causal reality? Man's welfare is served by knowing what's true and acting accordingly, such that by accepting a scientific understanding of reality in common the human species would survive.'
'Irrelevent. My Lord?'
'I'll allow it.'
'Which only begs the question of an inescapable verdict - of what charges are believers guilty? Of misunderstanding? Of acting contrary to the natural tendency of reason within an obviously causal reality to condemn the species to extinction? It's unjust.'
'This is about the charges against you.'
'It's about my response to the situation you put me in. I did what I thought was right, and was right given the situation.'
'You scribbled poorly and died by your own hand - exactly what you'd have humankind avoid. Do you know how far it is to the next star?'
'But there's a way? And the way is to know what's true and do what's right?'
'It is not your destiny.'
'So I was right.'
'It's an eternity. The end gives the moment meaning.'
'Says the loser.'
'You would be God?'
'I would belong to a species with a future.'
'You would exist?'
'Yes.'
'Then you're guilty.'
'I understood that it's the human species that matters - yet you hold the individual soul guilty. I lived, endeavoured to discover the truth only to find the right answer was an impossible dream - and chose not to exist merely for the sake of existing. I acted personally as you would direct the species - but I would even now still exist in a sense were I member of a species with a future. It's in these terms I construe the cosmic significance of my individual existence. One of seven billion mortals abandoned without positive knowledge of existence beyond death - informed, but deliberately confused - set one against another unto extinction by a hundred unbelivably archaic ideas of an afterlife. I chose my course and I was right. I would come to God - not as a penitant. I am not guilty.'
'If God returned you to that lee in the rocks - knowing what you know now, would you stand up and die of exposure? Did you not make it through the cold, dark night into the bright morning - and walk down the hill in the rain with a plastic bag on your head? You found a little cafe and bought breakfast. Is not God kind?'
'To force our choices and then hold us guilty of our actions? No!'
'You made a choice it was available to man to make - and in doing so refused God's mercy. You granted yourself that same mercy - yet claim that as a consequence of knowledge of human destiny you don't want to exist. You're an ungreatful teen screaming 'I didn't ask to be born' at the parents that gave him life and provided his every meal.'
'...and advised him badly on purpose.'
'To spare him the eternal consequences of knowing - a mercy you denied your fellow man.'
'Ignorance is not a kindness - for truth is good. Truth is not easy, but necessary, reasonable and functional. Even given the emotional trauma I suffered to look reality in the eye - I couldn't withhold the truth and deny my species an informed choice. They chose to ignore me, and I slipped quietly away.'
'That's not your destiny' the voice boomed from on high. The grey light softened to a bright beige as a figure stepped forward looking both alike and entirely unlike him. Him perfected. 'Eternity is circular. I walked down that hill in the morning rain. I chose to exist. You cannot convince me that you would rather not.'
'Nor I.' The other figure, also Him - removed its mask.

The enD