Oh Vain Regret

Uh, I don't really know. It's more of a free verse poem.

Wake me up, please.

I must be dreaming.

The walls of your comfort tumble,

My stable ground crumbles.

I'm lost.

Drowning in a sea of my failure.

I tried and look where that got me.

My heart hurts and my cheeks burn.

Of course I adored you, my darling.

Was I never supposed to?

You smiled, patted my head.

My silly hopes fluttered,

Butterflies trapped in the iron cage of reality.

My ego stroked.

My vanity tended to.

I fooled myself.

Let myself believe.

Oh vain Regret.

What purpose do you serve?

You haunt my once pleasant dreams.

Crash down upon my girlish fantasies.

Oh vain Regret.

How you taunt me with what could have been and

What will never be.

My mind screams, "How could you?"

But my heart whispers, "How couldn't you?"

Disconnect.

Remove.

Deny.

Absolve.

Hide from troubles.

The problems are temporary, surely.

Existential?

Not even slightly.

And yet...

And yet my world halts.

My universe slams in upon itself.

My inadequacies explode in the open space.

Supernovas of pain.

Of embarrassment.

Of regret.

Oh vain Regret.

You flatter yourself with your pretty, "What if's"

Put others down with your petty, "Remember when's"

How does one live without choking in your grip?

Whether said or unsaid.

Done or undone. 

You delight in the path not taken.

Taking comfortable complacency and

Replacing with cold sorrow.

Longing for an outcome

I was never to know.

Oh vain Regret.

Why do you choose to rear your ugly head?

Why when I lay crippled, 

Broken, bruised, bloodied. 

Why when I sit happily,

Smiling, laughing, enjoying.

Oh vain Regret.

Oh vain Regret.

Oh Regret.

Regret.